As readers may recall, my calculations show that the cost to Grace Church of buying the Pampered Prince of Perjury Bob Malm a personal residence exceeded $1.2 million. This included destruction of the existing rectory, which did not meet the exacting standards Bob established for a residence for His Holiness. Keep in mind that this figure included the $100,000 bonus the church paid perjuring priest Bob Malm in 2014 so he wouldn’t be upside down in his loan. That at a time when church financials were a shambles, there was a hoarder as parish administrator, and the church faced the near-term need to spend more than $1 million to keep the HVAC on in the complex.
So, as we approach the 2020 pledge season, it’s a great time to take a renewed look at that transaction. Specifically, what did that money get Grace Church?
A quick look at some recent photos of Perjury Place, the former residence of His Holiness, the Pampered Prince of Perjury, speaks volumes. As I predicted, deferred maintenance on the home left the place in tear-down condition, while the massive cracks in the foundation and other settling — not uncommon in hillside homes — spelled future problems.
Ironically, one of the few things that remain are the outside hand railings I installed following perjuring priest Bob Malm’s 2014 accident. In order to make that happen, I personally guaranteed payment on the project, since the vestry wanted to get involved, which would have delayed the matter interminably at a time where this was an urgent need. Moreover, given perjuring priest Bob Malm’s propensity for private schools, cosmetic procedures, dining out, and month-long trips to the beach every year, there was concern on multiple fronts that perjuring priest Bob Malm would not be good for the funds. (That proved not to be the case, thanks to the more than $24,000 purse the church took up for perjuring priest Bob Malm following his accident.)
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| When confronted with a large purse, the secret is to have the appropriate means to get it to the bank. This subtle piece by Balenciaga is ideal. |
All I can say is that any church that can pay a $100,000 bonus to a priest who can’t even be bothered to ensure that financial reports are accurate obviously has more money than it needs. It surely doesn’t need your funds, and I doubt it would take mine. So do yourself a favor amidst the pandemic and save your money. Heaven knows it’s going to be a rough fall when the annual influenza season ramps up and adds to the misery and suffering of a surging COVID-19 pandemic.