Friday, January 25, 2030

Bob Malm: Club Protest Membership Countdown


By virtue of trying to shutdown criticism by going to court with his facially false claims that he had been threatened, pseudo-priest Bob Malm and Grace Episcopal signed up for the two-year membership at Club Protest. No refunds, late payments result in an extension of membership. And his decision to include Mike in his vendetta, his multiple lies in court, and his efforts to subpoena a dying woman, all mean Bob gets the special VIP add-on package — my online presence will continue ad infinitum. That’s right, Dysfunctional Bob gets the lifetime virtual membership. Hey, Bob always did think he was special. Well, he’s right.

So, this countdown timer doesn’t mark the countdown to an end to open hostilities. But it does mark the payout of Dysfunctional Bob’s basic Club Protest membership.That said, I have always believed in under-promise, over-deliver, so I will no doubt extend Bob’s basic membership well beyond his original contract. And Grace Episcopal gets in on the action, for free.

By the way, if you see that the counter has passed zero and is counting up, that means that perjuring priest Bob Malm and the parish are enjoying their special free bonus time.

Hey, if he behaves, maybe we can even spot Bob some core body fitness tips. Heaven knows he’s been looking rather well-fed in recent years. And it fits — Grace Church aka St. Dysfunction is looking a whole lot leaner and meaner these days.

See you at Dysfunction Junction aka Malm Square(d)!

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Wondering About the Header?


If so, the photo is of my mother, dying of COPD and suffering from advanced congestive heart failure. It was taken at the time perjuring priest Bob Malm and Sugarland Chiow attempted to drag her into court in violation of relevant law, as they neither had secured, nor attempted to secure, advance leave of court to subpoena her as required by state law.

Not surprisingly, the court summarily quashed the protective order.

In response, Sugarland Chiow and perjuring priest Bob Malm lied, claiming that she was up and about and doing fine, per a conversation with her lawyer.

Clearly she was not, and throughout her lengthy final illness, she suffered an acute anxiety disorder. That. combined with the pain of her fluid retention and bloating, not fully controlled with morphine and other meds, caused her profound suffering.

So, Grace Church members, Malm family members, vestry members, clergy, wardens, financial donors and diocesan staff/bishops: I hope you are proud of yourselves. How do you plan to explain your conduct before God?

Oh, and if you are silent in the face of this sort of conduct, you are every bit as culpable as those directly involved. “As you have done unto the least of these, so also have you done unto me.” And that includes Michael Guy and Jason Roberson. I’d also love to see how Sugarland Chiow attempts to explain the ethics of his conduct to his children.

Meanwhile, I would be interested to know how St. Gabriel’s and the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts feels perjuring priest Bob Malm’s conduct comports with their purported values.

The photo is used with Mom’s permission, given before she died. She believed it only fair that you see firsthand the suffering you caused.

Friday, April 3, 2020

Breaking News: Grace Episcopal Alexandria Again Sued

Grace Episcopal Church Claims its Threatened by Domestic Terrorism
Grace Church’s Filing Calling Mom a “Domestic Terrorist”


It’s been a long time coming, but earlier today Mom’s estate filed suit against Grace Church, the diocese, and several named individuals. Due to the state of emergency in Pennsylvania and the closure of the relevant courts, it may be several more days before things are official. But barring the unforeseen, I expect that everything will be complete by May 10.

One of the interesting things in all of this will be seeing how the church explains its claims that Mom defamed it, and why it tried to drag a dying woman into court in violation of state law. Needless to say, I have alerted the news media, and I expect that we’ll see a great deal of additional publicity emerge. 

It should also be interesting to hear explanations from the church as to how Mom’s collective pseudonym, “The Killer B’s,” which she borrowed from Pittsburgh sports teams and her favorite classic rock band, is an act of “domestic terrorism” as claimed by the church in the Pennsylvania courts. In fact, in talking with the clerk of courts in the relevant jurisdiction, it is fair to say that she howled with laughter. 

Hearing folks explain how Mom or someone claiming to be her allegedly repeatedly set up appointments with Bob Malm, only to no-show, should also prove interesting. I fully intend to make the transcripts available to the media.

So, the Episcopal Church has now been sued by a dead woman. Nice.


Wednesday, April 1, 2020

As Petition Passes 7,000 Signatures, Episcopal Diocese of Virgina Still Refuses to Address Bob Malm’s Perjury

You have to hand it to The Episcopal Church. It’s not just set in its ways. It’s bound and determined to ruin itself.

Now, with more than 7,000 signatures, my petition asking Bishop Susan Goff and The Episcopal Diocese of Virginia to conduct a full, fair, open and independent investigation of Bob Malm’s perjury is still being ignored. That’s right—a denomination that experts say is now less than 20 years away from collapse is hellbent on avoiding dealing with a priest who commits perjury and tries to drag the dying into court,

Petition About Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Passes 7000 Signatures


And it’s not just the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia and Bishop Susan Goff who are morally bankrupt.

Perjuring priest Bob Malm continues to serve as interim rector of St. Gabriel’s, Marion Massachusetts. There, in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, he assures parishioners that they are in his “daily prayers.” That’s far from comforting, coming from a perjurer and priest of whom someone close to him as said, “it’s just a job for him.”

Meanwhile, The Episcopal Church’s insurance carrier continues to attempt to defend the actions of the diocese and parish in court, with attorney Diane DiBlasio working on setting a motions court date in June in our case. Proof positive that The Episcopal Church is as stubborn as it is stupid.

And let’s not forget: The Episcopal Church and much of its clergy is morally bankrupt,

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

BREAKING NEWS: Court Cases Rescheduled Due to COVID-19 Pandemic, Grace Episcopal May Still be in Court in 2021

COVID-19 Crisis Delays Grace Episcopal Court Cases

With multiple lawsuits now under way against Grace Episcopal Church, the Episcopak Diocese of Virginia, Susan Goff, and members of Bob Malm’s family, there is a monkey wrench thrown into things by virtue of the COVID-19 pandemic.

In the case of the suit against Grace Church, Susan Goff, and the diocese, the court has continued the motions hearing until June 19. That date does not work for counsel representing the defendants, so opposing counsel and I are trying to work out a new date so that we might submit a praecipe to the court requesting the change.

In the lawsuit against Leslie Malm for defamation, the initial return date has moved to June 26, although that date also may require adjustment. Meantime, I am in discussions with some of the attorneys who represented the dissident groups in the so-called property recovery litigation about possibly expanding the suit. Needless to say, her potential liability in tort is not confined to defamation.

Experts point out that, at its current rate of decline, The Episcopal Church only has about 17 Easters to go. That said, due to scheduling issues arising from the COVID-19 crisis, it increasingly looks Grace Episcopal and the Diocese will still be in court when the 16th-to-last Easter rolls around. Specifically, in response to the pandemic, the motions court hearing date has been postponed until June 19. Unfortunately, defense counsel has a conflict on that date, so it will probably be the end of June or July before we can resolve the various motions pending before the court,

Similarly, dates remain up in the air for the defamation suit against Lindsey Malm Anders, and I may also expand her case with the assistance of legal counsel.

Lastly, while I cannot share details, Bob Malm certainly remains on my radar, as well as the attorneys representing Mom’s estate. Suffice it to say there will be more news on those issues in the coming weeks.

In all of this, the notable thing is that Bob Malm tried to lie his way into misusing the court system to shut down criticism. In so doing, he went down the proverbial rabbit hole, pulling Jeff Sugarland Chiow, the parish, the diocese, and his family into what can only be described as a hot mess. But then, with Bob Malm having consistently placed his own perceived needs ahead of those of anyone else, the outcome comes as no surprise.

Bob et al would also do well to remember that I long ago structured my persona affairs such that I am judgment proof. All assets are either held in irrevocable trust, owned solely by Mike, or in other forms of ownership exempt from judicial process.

Of course, had Bob and Sugarland Chiow had half the common sense God gave a goat, they would have considered such factors long ago. But Bob’s initial hope was to somehow convince law enforcement that writing about him was a crime, But with no lese majeste statutes on the books to cover Episcopal clergy in the US, and the thorny issue of the First Amendment standing in his way, perjuring priest Bob Malm wound up in over his head in record time.

The result is lasting damage to the parish, as well as awareness by literally hundreds of bloggers and more than a million social media users of the church’s actions, initiated by Bob Malm and enjoying the full support of the church vestry and diocesan bishops. Nor is there any possibility that I will go away quietly any time soon. In short, the diocese and parish, as well as Sugarland Chiow and perjuring priest Bob Malm, placed themselves in a catch-22 situation in which no possible scenario exists in which they win. At this point, the only question is how badly they lose, and whether the parish will survive, which is looking less likely by the day.

Moreover, the diocese’s farcical and ugly claim that its clergy will only be held to account if they face criminal charges reveals how illusory church canons are, for they specifically forbid clergy from engaging in conduct involving “dishonesty, fraud, deceit or misrepresentation”— no criminal charges required. At the same time, it is clear for all to see that the diocese has no claim to moral authority.

Any denomination in which it is okay for Bob Malm to commit perjury is in sorry shape indeed.

Monday, March 30, 2020

Bob Malm: Atrocious Behavior, But Suited for Ministry at St. Gabriel’s

Leaving aside for one moment perjuring priest Bob Malm’s bad habit of not being able to keep his hands away from his face amidst the COVID-19 outbreak, there is the issue of his past conduct. For example, when he tried dragging my mother, dying of COPD into court, here is what one Twitizen said:


Yet perjuring priest and snake Bob Malm is considered a suitable interim for St. Gabriel’s. 

That should tell you all you need to know about St. Gabriel’s, the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts, and The Episcopal Church.

Caveat emptor.

Grace Episcopal Alexandria: Then and Now


Good job folks.

As for perjuring priest Bob Malm, as a priest and a person, he’s a total loser.




Sunday, March 29, 2020

Matthew Dumont-Machowski: Another Hypocrite from Grace Episcopal

Matt Dumont-Machowski


There’s something about Grace Episcopal that breeds hypocrites. Maybe it’s lead in the water pipes. Maybe it’s, as one priest has put it, “an evil spirit.” Or more likely it’s 30 years of perjuring priest Bob Malm.

Check out the amusing screen cap of Matthew Dumont-Machowski’s Twitter page that follows:

Matthew Dumont-Machowski

If nothing else, if Matt is serious about ministry, why wouldn’t he want to increase engagement versus decrease it? Is his faith really that thin?

Meanwhile, if you go to Matt’s website, he bloviates on about refugees, human rights, etc. All worthy endeavors and appropriate for public scrutiny, but meanwhile Matt would do better to look right underneath his nose at Bob Malm’s perjury, his efforts to drag a dying woman into court, his deliberate misuse of church memorial donations, his lies to parishioners, and his feckless approach to being rector. Or, while we’re on the topic of human rights, maybe Matt would be so kind at to share his views on the ethics of a $100,000 bonus for Bob Malm, while cutting health care benefits to parish employees. Or perhaps he can tell me how parishioners urging me to commit suicide comports with his notion of Christianity.

Or let’s cut to the quick and just ask Matt to proffer one iota of support for Bob Malm’s sworn testimony, signed in front of notary and parishioner Jane Rosman, that my mother or someone purporting to be her contacted Bob repeatedly to set up appointments. Should be an easy request—as clergy, isn’t Matt supposed to be resisting injustice and oppression? Or are those just pretty but meaningless words?

As I have said of Bob Malm, “Jesus welcomes outcasts. Bob Malm creates outcasts.”

The good news is that, given its current trajectory, the Episcopal Church only has about 27 more Easters to go. Frankly, being rid of the self-righteous hypocrisy of Matt and so many other Episcopal clergy won’t come a day too soon.

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Farewell, Amy “Middle Finger” Medrick

Amy Medrick Alexandria

The recent news that parish administrator Amy Medrick is leaving Grace Church is sad, for in many ways she typified the dysfunction in the church.

From her emailed comments that she was not comfortable with Mike Smith having her personal email address (horrors!), to her on-the-fly and inaccurate expositions of canon law (for example, her statement that it had been many months since Mike and I had been active members of the parish, despite the contrary provisions of the national church), to her flipping me the middle finger while I was out protesting the church’s efforts to drag my dying mother into court, Amy personified the problems in the church. Paranoia, arrogance, marginal competence, lack of compassion and thoroughly un-Christian behavior all rolled into one to form a profoundly ugly package. Even her experience with property management and development made little difference—as I posted earlier, even a casual glance at the church reveals multiple facially obvious problems that are being ignored.

To be fair, Amy did finally get rid of the utterly dysfunctional deployment of ACS, the church management software package previously used. While ACS is best in the business, it is pricey, long-in-the-tooth, and the initial deployment and subsequent maintenance at Grace was a total Charlie Foxtrot. In short, exactly what you would expect under perjuring priest Bob Malm’s reign of dysfunction. Indeed, discussions about how to fix that sordid mess were under way in 2011, yet it was not until shortly before perjuring priest Bob Malm’s departure in 2019 that the new Breeze software was deployed — a telling indicator of just how inept things were under Bob Malm.

Fair winds and following seas, Amy. And even when you’re gone, don’t hesitate to flip me off in public. Nothing like truth in advertising when it comes to The Episcopal Church.


Planning to Enroll Your Child at Grace School Next Year? If So, You are Stupid


As I reported in an earlier post, experts state that COVID-19 can survive on the soles of shoes for five days. Experts express particular concern for children, who are by nature inclined to handle shoes, and to play while on the floor.

With this in mind, and in light of the numerous food-insecure and homeless people who access the main entrance to the building — the same one used by the school — parents must ask if Grace provides an appropriately clean environment.

Additionally, the increased presence of tuberculosis and other readily transmissible airborne diseases by cohorts of limited economic means places Grace Episcopal School children at risk.

Moreover, I have issues with Patti Culbreth’s personal and professional integrity. Specifically, her blind willingness to jump on board the Bob Malm/Sugarland Chiow perjury bandwagon absent any firsthand contact with me, as evinced by internal church memorandum obtained during discovery, suggests Patti is not one to make independent moral decisions. In a world disrupted by vicious tribalism and a blind willingness to follow so-called leaders, the last thing students need is a head of school who lacks critical thinking skills.

Simply put, Grace Episcopal School is not a good environment for students in various ways.

Friday, March 27, 2020

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Remains Oblivious to COVID-18, Places Congregation at Risk

And the damned pig doesn’t even wash his hands after taking communion and before offering it to the congregation.

Don’t be surprised when members of St. Gabriel’s contract COVID-19.


Thursday, March 26, 2020

Grace Episcopal Alexandria Food Pantry Places Parishioners and Students at Heightened Risk of COVID-19

Grace Episcopal Food Pantry Creates Elevated Risk of COVID-19 Exposure to School Students and Others

Let me say upfront: I fully support efforts to alleviate poverty and food insecurity. But the presence of the food pantry at Grace Church creates serious ongoing issues of potential exposure to COVID-19 for students at the church school, as well as parishioners and staff.

The problem is that the food insecure and marginally housed or homeless persons typically lack access to medical care and testing. Further, they often are unable to maintain social distancing, and will lack access to COVID-19 testing for the forseeable future.

"This virus is quite transmissible through relatively casual contact, making this pathogen very hard to contain," says James Lloyd-Smith, co-author a UCLA study on the topic. Moreover, the virus can travel on shoes for at least five days, according to another study. This results in widespread transmission, including to areas that would otherwise seem unlikely to experience exposure.

While children may be less affected by COVID-19 than those in older cohorts, those with asthma and other preexisting conditions are at elevated risk. Further, children at Grace School may unwittingly bring the virus home and expose parents, grandparents and others in vulnerable cohorts.

The New England Journal of Medicine also reports that the virus can live for at least three days on door handles, light switches and other high-use hard surfaces. Ibid.

Thus, with the Grace Church food pantry remaining open during this period of social distancing, floors and hard surfaces in and around the Commons — which includes the entrance to the school —have the potential to spread the virus through all parts of the building, particularly via foot traffic. Given the high percentage of persons age 65 and above in the parish, this creates enormous risk when in-person worship resumes at the church.

For these reasons, all persons at high risk of infection should avoid entering the building until such time as a vaccine and wide-spread testing are available. Additionally, those at risk should pay close attention to efforts to develop some form of treatment for the disease; as things stand, all medical professionals can do is provide mechanical ventilation and other supportive measures until the disease has run its course. And the elderly should carefully contemplate the words of American Health Care Association Mark Parkinson, who said, “The grim reality is that, for the elderly, COVID-19 is an almost perfect killing machine.”

Meanwhile, parents are well-advised to avoid re-enrolling their children at Grace Episcopal School.


Wednesday, March 25, 2020

See What A Priest and Attorney Says About Perjuring Priest Bob Malm and Susan Don’t-Get-Arrested Goff

I recently have been in extended discussions with a priest and attorney about the state of affairs at Grace Episcopal, the clergy perjury parish, and the wreck that is the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia under Susan Goff. While I cannot share specifics, one exchange is worth reporting, and reinforces that the Episcopal Church is morally bankrupt.

Read the attached from bottom to top. The photo I included, of Mom in advanced congestive heart failure — at a time when Sugarland Chiow and Bob Malm falsely told the Virginia courts that Mom was up and about and doing fine. Recall that this was in conjunction with their effort to drag Mom into court—an effort that the Pennsylvania courts immediately quashed as illegal, since Sugarland had not, as required by law, obtained advance leave of court.

Sugarland Chiow and perjuring priest Bob Malm — true examples of Jesus’ message of love and compassion. Fully supported by Susan “Don’t Get Arrested” Goff.










Monday, March 23, 2020

A Shout Out to the Bullies of Grace Episcopal Alexandria and their Validators



Social scientists have long recognized that witnesses to bullying occupy four roles. These roles are not mutually exclusive, and a bystander may occupy more than one role, or switch among them. Regrettably, three of the four roles involve unethical conduct, and members of Grace Episcopal Church almost without exception occupy the categories that are unethical.

The categories are:
  • Assistants join the bullying, often taking directions from the bullies
  • Reinforcers encourage the bullies by cheering, laughing, or otherwise actively supporting them
  • Validators know about the bullying but do nothing, giving "silent approval"
  • Defenders intervene and support the victims
(Quoted from the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut Safe Church Training Materials, found here).

In my experience, the vast majority of Grace Church parishioners and clergy are validators, who offer time, talent, and treasure to the church and ignore bullying, as well as Bob Malm’s readily verifiable perjury.

Bishop Susan Goff, Bishop Shannon Johnston, the Rev. Caroline Parkinson, and the Rev. Sven vanBaars, however, are reinforcers, aiding and encouraging Bob Malm and Sugarland Chiow. Indeed, Johnston sent out a letter supporting Bob, even falsely claiming that the matter had been “investigated and resolved long ago.” Nothing like having a liar for a bishop.

And several parishioners are themselves bullies, including Alison Campbell, Jan Spence, Lucy Medley and Lisa Medley. While all four may justify their conduct by claiming they were sticking up for Kelly Gable, last I heard God wasn’t hiring in that department. Not to mention 1) Kelly and I had resolved our differences before they jumped in, 2) Thanks to their childish antics, the church’s reputation is irreparably damaged.

Meanwhile, my question to Michael Guy, Jason Robertson, members of the search committee and vestry, and the parish at large is this:

Which category of bystander are you? If you continue to give money and say nothing, at a minimum you are a validator. And Jesus had very little use for persons in positions of authority who ignored injustice and oppression, especially when done in the name of religion.


As I told Susan Goff and other diocesan officials in writing, those of you who turn a blind eye to Bob Malm’s perjury and other misconduct are modern-day Scribes and Pharisees. You profess your faith noisily in public, but in reality you are the whitewashed tombs of whom Jesus spoke—pretty on the outside, reeking of corruption and filth on the inside. You are hypocrites. Same for Sally Schneider and her moronic condemnations of me, delivered in her saccharine voice. And same for Christine Cheevers, with her stupid assertion that Bob Malm is gone, and somehow I should just be okay with his bullying, perjury and more as a result. Not to mention that Cheevers’ efforts to shout me down show she is a bully and an asshole, and you can quote me on that.

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Shows Why Social Distance Doesn’t Work at Church

These photos were taken shortly before perjuring priest Bob Malm handled several small children in preparation for baptism—no hand sanitizer in sight! And moments later, he conducts Holy Eucharist.

So much for avoiding touching your face.




Thursday, March 19, 2020

DioVA Provides Further Evidence It Is Indifferent to Abuse





During the 2015 General Convention (GC) of The Episcopal Church, two measures were passed that addressed abuse in the church. Measure 2015-A073 authorized the updating of Model Policies for the Protection of Children, while Measure 2015-A074 called for the update of the Safe Church Training Materials.

The work was done by a GC-appointed task force spearheaded by the eminently capable The Rev. Canon Robin Hammeal-Urban, and the Rev. Canon Carol Cole Flanagan, as well as several other persons with a passion for ensuring that Episcopal churches are safe places for all persons.

The resulting materials were approved by the most recent General Convention and require that all dioceses adopt standards at least as protective as those approved by General Convention; higher standards may be implemented. Further, the measure makes clear that the standards apply to all church programs and activities.

Yet many dioceses have ignored these requirements. For example, here in the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, the policies used do not reflect the current standards. The Episcopal Diocese of Washington (EDOW) does follow the standards, since Canon Flanagan is canonically resident in that diocese.

The status of the new policies in other dioceses are less clear, for many don’t publish their policies on their websites. That’s a mistake, for failing to publish that information makes it difficult at best to ensure compliance. (Speaking of, General Convention ignored efforts to include a question about compliance in the annual report.)

And of course, there is nothing to prevent individual parishes from adopting these policies. Yet those with which which I am familiar have consistently failed to done do.

So my questions are these: What message does General Convention’s failure to include a question about compliance on the annual parochial report send to the church? To victims of #metoo and #churchtoo? How can the church claim to be serious about these issues when it fails to take even the most minimal steps towards ensuring compliance?

For those dioceses and parishes that have ignored the requirements imposed by the new standards: What message does this send to parents in the church? To vulnerable adults? To all who are concerned about bullying and misconduct in the church? How can you claim to be an inclusive church when you ignore safe church efforts?

As a practical matter, entities within the church that fail to adopt these measures could be found liable to failing to adopt these common standards.

Clearly, the Episcopal Church still pays far too little attention to issues of sexual and other misconduct in the church. And Bishop Goff’s claim to be working for an inclusive church are a bunch of poo.

COVD-19 Hastens the End for Dying Grace Episcopal Church

While few at Grace Church, aka St. Dysfunction, are sufficiently forward-looking to recognize it, there are more COVD-19 problems in store for the parish.

Consider the theory that the pandemic will die down as the summer months approach due to increasing humidity. While there’s ample reason to be skeptical, if it’s true, the news carries with it some delayed bad news, which is that Shrine Mont likely will be closed. That’s because if the increased humidity of summer discourages the virus, the decreased humidity of fall and increased dust and pollen occurring at the time of Shrine Mont will surely bring a resurgence. Same for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Epiphany and Easter. In short, until a vaccine is developed, this is the new normal.

So, what’s left of Grace Church and its deplorable ethics should probably be realistic and recognize that the earlier predictions that The Episcopal Church will have no Sunday worshipers in 30 years no longer holds true at Grace Church. My prediction is that it’s got 5-10 years max. And given the hypocrisy and misconduct I have seen in the parish, the day Grace closes won’t be a day too soon.


Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Finally Gets Some Adult Supervision


Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Finally Does the Right Thing and Pulls the Plug on in-Person Worship at St. Gabriel’s


Over time, there is one thing that is consistent about perjuring priest Bob Malm: He is never a leader when it comes to moral and ethical issues. Whether it’s turning a blind eye to bullying by church staff who report to him, or misconduct by parish “leaders” that he has appointed, or his own lies, misuse of funds, and other misconduct, Bob is at best amoral.

And so it is with his new gig at St. Gabriel’s, Marion. While the government is urging people to avoid unnecessary interaction, and self-quarantine for those age 65 and over, Bob Malm until now has simply ignored these suggestions. Yes, last Sunday he avoided physical contact with parishioners, but  the few attendees at services were overwhelmingly high risk.

To make matters worse, many were in close proximity to each other, thus putting themselves one cough or sneeze away from exposure and possible death. Moreover, viral exposure is an exponential thing, with one infected person potentially exposing dozens if not hundreds of others. Thus, even if you don’t care what happens to your parishioners, you risk causing harm to the larger community. This in turn deprives the church of any claim to moral legitimacy.

Fortunately, it appears that the bishop offered some adult supervision and asked the parish to stop in-person services. This is the only ethically appropriate outcome, and needs to continue for at least another month.

All I can say is it is about damned time.

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Safe Church and DioVA: One of the Diocese’s Major Governance Failures

One of the many downsides of the years of property recovery litigation here in DioVA is that it diverted massive amounts of time and attention from ordinary governance issues. This power vacuum  extended even to day-to-day accountability among Mayo House staff, and it was exacerbated by +Shannon’s indifference to getting involved in the details and his adversarial management style.

But one of the diocese’s biggest failings, and one still ignored by Susan Goff, was the need to update and expand on existing sexual misconduct prevention policies, to include Safe Church training.

As things stand, diocesan policies cover sexual misconduct involving children and vulnerable adults. But there is no next to no training on boundary issues, bullying, and the many other ways in which church power differentials can prove harmful. This is particularly the case with clergy like Bob Malm, who had virtually no meaningful supervision during his tenure with Grace Church, either from the diocese or the vestry.

This is at variance with the work done by the Rev. Canon Robin Hammeal-Urban, the Rev. Canon Carol Cole Flanagan, and others in drafting the current Safe Church Model Policies, available here in PDF. The new policies establish standards for LGBTQ+ members, define “vulnerable adults,” and more. Additionally, they establish standards for auditing every three years, much as is done in the Catholic Church.

Work in Other Dioceses


Many dioceses, including Connecticut, where Robin Hammeal-Urban serves, have adopted professional guidelines for clergy and policies for the inclusion of registered sex offenders in parish life. Copies of relevant Connecticut documents are available here.

Meanwhile, Bishop Goff has her visioning initiative under way, in which she seeks to map out a vision for the future. But without an effective governance framework in place, any such effort is likely to flounder. And while Goff talks about her vision for an inclusive church, the church is not effectively inclusive if it permits bullying and other non-sexual misconduct.

In my case, look at the Model Policy’s definition of violence:


See the reference to “isolation from others?” That is exactly what Bob Malm did when he instructed parish staff to isolate Mike and me. Oh, and BTW, Mike’s age at the time placed him within the definition of “vulnerable adult.” Yet per the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia’s written statement, Bob’s conduct is not of “weighty and material importance to the ministry of the church.” And Mom, who was dying of COPD, certainly met the definition.

Bullying


The seriousness of this situation is underscored by the Diocese of Connecticut’s Safe Church training materials, here in PDF.

Below is the definition of bullying:



Note the part about lack of empathy; which certainly would describe Bob Malm’s conduct towards my Mom.

Role of Grace Church Parishioners and Diocesan Staff

Now, look at the information from the Diocese of CT on bystanders to bullying. As you can see, those who stand silently by when witnessing bullying are considered validators. 



Given that most people at Grace Church are well aware of Bob Malm’s efforts to bully me and Mike, yet remain silent, they qualify as validators. And diocesan staff occupy roles from that of assistants to validators; none are defenders.

Conclusion

Not only is the Diocese of Virginia woefully behind the times when it comes to ensuring that its churches are welcoming and inclusive, but it is has absolutely no concept that this is the case. Indeed, it is so caught up in its own little world that it recently voted Sven vanBaars as a delegate to General Convention—the very same priest who says in writing that perjury is only a problem form clergy if they face criminal charges.

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Holds Services as Usual Despite Pandemic


As medical experts and government officials worldwide urge greater social distancing due to the COVID-19 pandemic, perjuring priest Bob Malm continues true to form, holding services at St. Gabriel’s Marion anyway. The move comes despite the fact that Malm and many in his parish are at high risk due to age and other factors.

To be clear, the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts has taken a largely hands-off approach to the issue, placing responsibility in the hands of local churches. But as I have discussed elsewhere, that decision is problematic, for it sidesteps one of the very reasons to have a bishop, which is to make choices in the best interest of the church as a whole. This is particularly the case when, as here, there will be strong feelings with parishes on all sides of specific issues. In short, there are times when it is best for bishops to take local clergy out of the line of fire.

Complicating the situation at St. Gabriel’s is Bob Malm’s tendency to view himself as invincible. Malm himself noted this trait following his accident in which he broke his neck, but I have seen no evidence to suggest that this aspect of his personality, often seen in those with narcissistic personality disorder, has diminished over time.

There are larger issues at play. As a priest, Bob’s first priority should be the wellbeing of his parish. In that respect, his decision to hold services as usual was a profound moral failure. While attendance at St. Gabriel’s was sparse, many attendees were 65+ and thus at elevated risk of death due to COVID-19.

Nor were adequate safeguards implemented. While changes were made to the service to prevent physical contact and shared communion, many in the congregation, altar party and choir were in close physical proximity to others.

With the primary route of transmission the distribution of bodily fluids via coughing and sneezing, many in the congregation were one good sneeze away from potential exposure. Thus, the situation mirrors that of Christ Church Georgetown, where the rector was careful to use hand sanitizer and to otherwise take steps to protect parishioners. Yet despite these precautions, more than 550 people are now in quarantine.

The breadth of the Christ Church quarantine underscores another ethical aspect of Malm’s conduct, which is that it implicates others beyond those sitting in the pews. Specifically, if exposure occurs, each person who returns home potentially spreads the virus to dozens of others in supermarkets, movie theaters, restaurants and more. Nor does Bob’s conduct inspire ethical conduct; folks likely will conclude that if it’s safe to go to church, it is safe to go out to dinner, the movies, etc.

In the midst of the pandemic, all involved need to put aside perceived self-interest and act for the greater good. That means doing everything possible to limit interaction with others, to reduce risk, and to protect against this most serious threat. The risk is particularly high in Massachusetts, which has a large number of cases. Moreover, many are carrying the virus but are asymptomatic or have mild symptoms, and thus are unknowingly spreading the disease.

If clergy like Bob Malm aren’t prepared to lead the way, why should we think that others will do what is necessary to protect our communities? And what excuse will Malm and others give if members of the congregation do get sick and die from exposure at the church?

Yet another sad example of Bob Malm’s lack of moral leadership.


Friday, March 13, 2020

True to Form, St. Dysfunction Screws Up Its Response to COVID-19

It should come as no surprise, but true to form, Grace Episcopal has bollixed its response to Bishop Goff’s announcement regarding the suspension of church services.

Specifically, in its announcement, the church states that all Sunday worship services at all parishes in the diocese are suspended. As other churches in the area were quick to point out, that is absolutely and categorically untrue.

Here is the church’s announcement:


What the diocese HAS said is that all gatherings for public worship are suspended. That is a huge difference. Indeed, Bishop Goff is quick to point out that God will be worshipped and praised, and is encouraging parishes to offer online services. That is in keeping with what I and other have been pointing our for many years, which is that churches that wish to engage with young people must find young people where they are. That means offering interactive alternatives. Not half-baked alternatives, but joyful, engaging interaction in cyberspace.

This is confirmed in Bishop Goff’s statement, reflected below.




So rather than the usual chaos and misinformation, I believe parish leaders should get their backsides in gear, recognize that there are ways to hold services without physically meeting, borrow a tripod stand and an iPod, and get busy going about the business of the church.

For the record, church services are NOT cancelled across the diocese. Only parishes that cannot get their act together to stream a service will not be worshipping this Sunday. And given the times in which we live, churches and other organizations that survive will be those that move swiftly and respond to the changing times. 

So far, Grace Church does not appear to be one of the churches that will survive.

PS Given the demographics of the church, it is stupid to continue with small group meetings. Feel free to quote me. And if you really want to worship God, service at the food pantry or homeless shelter is a good way to start.

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Bishop Goff and COVID-19: A New Wrinkle in the Pandemic


Bishop Susan Goff’s Brand of Christianity: No thanks, you can keep it.

There’s a new wrinkle in the COVID-19 pandemic and the decision to largely shutter churches in The Episcopal Diocese of Virginia for the new two weeks. That is that Bishop Goff is at high risk for the virus, and soon will be at even greater risk.

This issue, of course, is that Goff’s age places her at higher risk of infection.

Even worse, the news that she soon will begin chemotherapy for breast cancer exacerbates the risk. Chemotherapy is, by definition, immunosuppressive, thus compounding her risk profile.

Still worse, much of what Goff does involves crowds. Whether it’s ecclesiastical visits, meetings, or public events, self-isolation will be difficult.

While worrisome, the news may not be all bad. As Goff learns to adapt to a more limited in-person presence, we may see the diocese finally start to take social media seriously. For far too long, the diocese has maintained next to no online presence. Yes, it has a website and Facebook page, but it never engages with external audiences, and it has been years since Goff used her Twitter account. And forget Instagram or other emerging platforms.

It will be interesting to see what happens.

Run! My Advice to Millennials and Gen Z’ers About The Episcopal Church

Priestly perjury plant, in honor of Bob Malm
Today I wanted to share my thoughts on The Episcopal Church with millenials and gen z-er’s. My advice: Keep doing what you’re doing and steer clear of the church. Or, if you’re not already doing that run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit.

When it comes to young people, studies offer some good news for society: Much like millennials, gen z’ers are compassionate, concerned about others, and inclusive. They’re also unlikely to hold rigid notions of right and wrong when it comes to sexual ethics and other issues.

Ten years ago, I would have said those trends spell good news for The Episcopal Church. Inclusive, free-thinking, concerned about social justice and the environment, the church seemed a good fit for generations to come.

Today, I know better. Time after time, I’ve seen how The Episcopal Church talks a good game, while in reality it remains stuck in a Madmen-era time warp.

For example, one hears recited at worship the Baptismal Covenant, in which Episcopalians promise to “respect the dignity of every human being.” Sounds good on paper, but this is a church that is just starting to address sexual harassment, almost 50 years ago after such conduct became verboten in corporate America.

Similarly, the clericalism of the church, in which clergy are treated as somehow superior to laity, is not just hypocritical. It’s repulsive. The folks in the pews are the ones who support the food pantry, the homeless shelter and more through donations of time and money. These are given after what, for many, is already a 50-60 hour workweek. This contrasts sharply with Bob Malm, with his regular work hours, $200,000 compensation package, $100,000 bonus, month at the beach every summer and time off for marathons and golf.

Nor would this oversized clericalism necessarily be a bad thing if Bob lived an exemplary life. But as I’ve discussed elsewhere, when criticized for his conduct towards parishioners, Bob has no problem yelling, “Why should I give a fuck?” (Yes, there were witnesses.) Bob commits perjury, lies to vestry members and parishioners repeatedly, tries to drag the dying into court, and curses like a sailor at sporting events. (Yup, witnesses to that, too.)

For the record, I don’t have an issue with cursing, but it’s not something I expect regularly from a priest. The rest I don’t expect from anyone, let alone a priest.

Right about now, the Bob Malm fan club, including Bob himself, responds by saying, “Well, he’s human too.” I get that, but most of us don’t try to drag the dying into court. We have an issue with perjury. We have an issue with lying to people we claim to care about. And we have an issue with bullying and harassment, whether in church, school, or the workplace. In other words, Bob’s conduct is far below what we hope for in our friends, let alone our clergy.

Nor do I think most of us have much in common with a overaged frat boy whose life revolves around beer, running, golf and the beach, with bad hair color, alligator skin, nasty teeth and an ugly hair transplant. If nothing else, few get to spend a month at the beach every year. In fact many, myself included, haven’t had a vacation in years.

Nor is the problem confined to Grace Church. In fact, The Episcopal Diocese of Virginia has repeatedly said in writing that it doesn’t have an issue with Bob’s conduct. That specifically includes:
  • Bullying.
  • Failing to safeguard church funds (think thousands of dollars of cash previously unaccounted for, as well as numerous spare checks and bank deposits routinely showing up at the bank in amounts different than what is on the deposit ticket.)
  • Possible gender-based harassment.
The icing on the cake is when the diocese said, in writing, that Bob’s perjury only counts if he faces criminal charges. I even emailed Bishop Susan Goff about that, and appealed to Melissa Hollerith. The latter is the priest in charge of the clergy disciplinary committee. This sort of facially broken ethical reference point illustrates all too well how the church’s main priority is protecting the organization, versus doing what’s right. It’s exactly the reason young people already distrust the church, and I can assure them these issues are not getting any better over time.

Indeed, the diocese and parish are still in court, trying to defend Bob Malm’s perjury. So it’s fair to say that the diocese has had numerous opportunities to fix things, but its priority is not, and never has been, acting with integrity.

The diocese also likes to have things both ways. When it comes to clergy discipline, the diocese will point people to church wardens, or local elected leaders, oblivious to the fact that Bob Malm chooses the wardens at Grace Church. “The bishop really doesn’t have that level of authority,” says Todd Ousley, a senior denominational official who handles clergy discipline.

Yet in recent days we have seen Bishop Goff, the leader of the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, shut down almost all church worship meetings through the end of the month due to the coronavirus. So help me understand: How does that work? How can Goff have the power to shutter churches throughout the diocese, but not the ability to address clergy misconduct in local parishes?

Couple that with the church’s priorities and things really get ugly. Grace Episcopal can afford to pay Malm a $100,000 bonus, but it devotes less than 3 percent of its budget to caring for those in need? How does that work? And telling me that the school is part of its ministry is just bogus. So what? Kids learn how to properly wax Mommy and Daddy’s Escalade? Please. 

Then we get to folks at Grace Church urging me to commit suicide, bullying each other and more. Jesus loved everyone, but folks at Grace church flip you off if you criticize the church. Nice.

Or Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow, the church’s attorney, with his inflammatory rhetoric, fake places and fake events. Or naming part of the church building after perjuring priest Bob Malm. All I can say is if any of these issues reflect your idea of Christianity, no thanks. You can keep it.

In short, The Episcopal Church has damned little to do with Jesus, and everything to do with being a little clique of well-heeled members of a religious club. So if you are a young person — or any age, for that matter — do yourself a favor: Look for meaning, ethics, and connection with others elsewhere. You’re going to be sadly disappointed with The Episcopal Church.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

What Would Have Happened if Perjuring Priest Bob Malm and Sugarland Chiow Had Gotten Me to Sign an NDA?

With Grace’s transition from 30 years of perjuring priest Bob Malm now entering its sixth month, it seems that very little progress has been made. Yes, a well-qualified group has been chosen for the search committee. Yes, the search committee is going through all the right steps. But they are not meeting the congregation’s needs.

Specifically, one of the requirements of a successful transition is coming to terms with the church’s past. By definition, that would include Bob Malm’s perjury, his lies to the congregation, his efforts to drag a dying woman into court, and more. Yet the parish’s response is typical: It’s trying to defend the case in court, which only erodes confidence in the church, further alienates members and former members, and diverts much-needed funds from — you guessed it — healing and outreach.



Part and parcel of this is Sugarland Chiow’s spectacularly stupid role in this debacle, as well as that of the ever clueless Diocese of Virginia. This included efforts by Sugarland to get me to sign a non-disclosure agreement, or NDA, in exchange for dropping Bob’s fraudulent protective order obtained via perjury and false statements. The fact that Sugarland even tried to go this route reveals he has scant understanding of Christianity, conflict transformation, or even the simple matter of that makes me tick.

So what would have happened had I signed that NDA?

The answer is the church would have wound up with its problems shoved under the rug and papered over with Sugarland Chiow’s badly written pablum about moving forward in peace and love. The problem, of course, is that nothing about Sugarland’s conduct, Bob Malm’s conduct, the vestry’s conduct, or that of various key church members in any way involves love. Nor does it involve Christian conduct.

As Robin Hammeal-Urban, expert on church misconduct, writes, disclosure of misconduct is essential if we are to be in right relationship with ourselves, each other, and God. Folks like Kemp Williams may decry the harm that comes from disclosure, but concealing misconduct only makes things worse. Indeed, churches that do so may suffer harm decades letter.

Consider the example from Robin’s book below, involving an assistant rector and a non-disclosure agreement:



And below are more excerpts from Robin’s book, covering the importance of disclosure.











And no discussion of the effects of hiding misconduct would be complete without noting that doing so prevents a congregation from understanding, recognizing healthy systems of checks and balances and boundaries.



My observation is that, like all narcissists, Bob Malm established no boundaries for his own conduct. Lying to his vestry, to his congregation, to his bishops, and even to the police and courts, all were okay. Yet the boundary he sought to establish for parishioners was no criticism of his conduct, ever. Indeed, he told me more than once that he would not address my concerns about his behavior. The diocese was even worse, showing zero understanding of its own role in the debacle. And to this day, the diocese and the parish vestry continue to try to defend their conduct in court — which, if they succeed, will only impose another impediment to the church becoming healthy and taking ownership of its issues.

Truly, Grace Church and its leadership appear determined to wreck the future of the parish. As things stand, they are doing an excellent job of doing exactly that.

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Comments from the Rev. Cam Miller Re Grace Church

As I mentioned in a previous post, Cam Miller recently published an excellent piece on church buildings, finances, and the need to hold loosely to the buildings and other artifacts of “Churchianity.” His article appears both on Episcopal Cafe and his personal blog, Subversive Preacher.

My comments in response to his article were nuked on Episcopal Cafe, despite the fact that they are both factual and do not name Grace Church as the subject of my comments. But my comments did appear on Subversive Preacher, where I pointed out that, in essence, Grace Church is throttling itself with its wasteful spending, its focus on maintaining a creaky 1950’s relic of a building, and its rampant clericalism, including its $100,000 bonus in 2014 to Bob Malm.

Below are Cam’s responses, which are spot on. They only point where he gets it wrong is the notion that the diocese would question Bob Malm’s $100,000 bonus. Suffice it to say, unless you are having an affair with a parishioner, Susan Goff and the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, like Pontius Pilate, wash their hands of all clergy misconduct, even Bob Malm’s perjury. And Grace’s vestry actively supports such misconduct.

I had to laugh, too: The notion that Grace Church could actually grow from conflict is absurd on its face. The church loves conflict, and is determined to reduce its membership via strategic use of conflict. Just ask Bob Malm, Sugarland Chiow, Jan Spence, Lisa Medley and Alison Campbell. 

Here are his comments:


BREAKING NEWS: Susan Goff Diagnosed With Cancer



The Episcopal Diocese of Virginia yesterday reported that Bishop Susan Goff has been diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer. The cancer is not aggressive, and her prognosis reportedly excellent.

Goff will undergo surgery shortly before Easter, and will undergo chemo in the weeks that follow. She reports that her Sunday visitations will continue as planned, but her weekday work may have to be adjusted in light of her treatment.

Goff states that her succession plans remain unchanged, which call for the election of a bishop diocesan in 2022, at which time she will return to the role of bishop suffragen, retiring in 2023.

A blog and special email address have been set up to stay in touch with Bishop Goff, which can be accessed at http://www.thediocese.net/who-we-are/our-bishops/bishop-goff/healing-grace/




Monday, March 9, 2020

Good Read on Episcopal Cafe: Plan Your Escape Route Now



There’s a good article on Episcopal Cafe by the Rev. Cameron Miller, titled Plan Your Escape Route Now. The article, which discusses the importance of being prepared to let go of outdated, burdensome church buildings, is highly relevant to Grace Episcopal. The article can be found here.

In the article, Miller discusses various churches at which he served, ranging from a small, simple rural church to a majestic Gothic edifice. All but the small rural church required massive repairs. Not surprisingly, the only church building that didn’t prevent mission due to its cost was the small rural church.

Carrying the lesson forward, Miller reports that his current cure is Trinity Place, a congregation that shedded its former church building in favor of a small storefront. The result?  A vibrant renewal of the parish as its space serves multiple groups in the community.

The lessons Miller shares are important for Grace Church. As the parish pumps more than a $1 million into replacing the HVAC system, with much of the money borrowed, it gives short shrift to the local community. Less than 3 percent of the budget goes to serving others. At the same time, the parish devoted more than $1.2 million to buying a private residence for Bob Malm, and paid a bonus of $100,000 to him in 2014, at a time when it was cutting employee health benefits and donating $3,000 to Chris Byrnes’ farewell party. The latter wasn’t even drawn from income, but rather from savings.

Just imagine what would be possible if these resources were put into serving those in need.

And exactly as Miller discusses with his previous churches, even with all the money being poured into the building, there’s hundreds of thousands of dollars of work that will be needed. Much of that work is not even on the radar for vestry members or staff, including what will happen when the original copper pipes start to fail. That alone will be a huge project, and yet no one pays attention to it, let alone budgets or plans for it.

So what is Grace’s plan? How will it cover the hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of work that will be needed? Is this the best use of the church’s rapidly dwindling resources? Are the church’s current priorities healthy? The church has plenty of money when it decides to take up a purse for perjuring priest Bob Malm, but not so much when it comes to feeding the needy.

If the answer to the latter question is no, what is the church’s escape route?

BREAKING: More than 550 persons who attended Episcopal church asked to self-quarantine

Reports indicate that the DC department of health is asking all persons who visited Christ Church Georgetown on February 24, and between February 28 and March 3 self-quarantine for fourteen days following their lost visit to the church. More than 550 persons are known to have visited the church during that time. Timothy Cole, the rector, served communion during one of the services.

Among the restrictions are not attending work/school, not using public transit or ride sharing, and not attending any large or public meetings.



Sunday, March 8, 2020

Another Yelper Hits the Nail on the Head

Grace Episcopal recently scored another Yelp review, and whoever posted it hits the nail on the head. 

“Empty rhetoric, empty rote, empty pews, empty hands.”

To which I’d add: “Empty ethics.”




Ever Notice that No One Ever Claims Bob Malm Isn’t a Perjurer?

In the midst of the myriad ad hominem attacks from Leslie Malm, Lindsey Malm, Lisa Medley and others, there’s one consistent factor: No one ever denies that Bob Malm is a perjurer. Indeed, even the law firm representing the diocese, Bishop Goff, and the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia has never denied that Bob Malm is a perjurer.

Does that tell you anything?




CBS Covers Outbreak of Coronavirus at DC Episcopal Church

More coverage of the coronavirus outbreak at Christ Church Georgetown. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/coronavirus-timothy-cole-rector-dc-christ-church-georgetown-tests-positive/

BREAKING NEWS: Local Episcopal Church Closes After Exposure to Coronavirus, Victim Said to be Church Rector



DC-area news media report that Christ Church, an Episcopal church in Georgetown, likely was exposed to the new coronavirus. As a result, the DC department of health has recommended that the church suspend services while it investigates for possible public exposure to the virus.

In her Twitter account, church member Carol Ross Joyner states that it is the rector of the church, the Rev. Timothy Cole, who is patient zero for DC. She adds that the church is closed.

Check out coverage on WTOP.com here.


Saturday, March 7, 2020

Diocesan Response to Bob Malm’s Perjury, Misconduct Encourages Abuse, Discourages Reporting




Recently, one of the members of the Roman Catholic Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors spoke to media via Skype as she trains church members in Australia to implement more robust measures to protect children from abuse. Her sobering comments hold damning implications for the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, Susan Goff, and the way that diocesan officials respond to allegations of clergy misconduct.

“If we would expect that with all the guidelines we have in place we can prevent abuse 100 percent, we would be na├»ve,” said Dr. Myriam Wijlens of the Netherlands. “We cannot prevent it in the Church in as much as we cannot prevent it in the Scouts or sports. No system will ever be perfect.”

However, she [said], “we can, and I believe we do, learn to be more attentive, listen and see the signals better and thus improve our reaction. This goes for those in leadership as well as parents and other faithful in the church: we are indeed all more attentive. There is also a better culture that encourages victims to speak and report. The preventive measures will hopefully mean that abusers are not moved and that thus repetitive abuse may be prevented.” (Emphasis added.)

That raises the question: Would any person in his or her right mind go to the diocese with concerns about potential clergy misconduct when the diocese allows retaliation, up to and including perjury on Bob Malm’s part? Would you be comfortable sharing your story with a diocese that is prepared to say that perjury by a priest is only actionable if criminal charges are brought? How do you feel about a church that tries to drag the dying into court?

The answer, of course, is that no one is going to stick their neck out when the diocese responds like this.

The answer becomes even more starkly clear when, as in Bob Malm’s case, the diocese turns a blind eye to breach of confidentiality in the complaint process. Complaints are supposed to be confidential, but the diocese knew and turned a blind eye to Bob Malm’s disclosure of my complaint to Jeff Aaron and others. Yes, it eventually took action, but nothing serious. The fact that Bob Malm doesn’t even adhere to canonically mandated confidentiality should serve as a warning sign to anyone dealing with him, or the diocese itself.

This paradigm has profound implications within the larger Title IV process. Given that clergy occupy the position of perceived power in any complaint situation, parents who for example allege sexual abuse of a child face insurmountable challenges if the diocese is willing to allow retaliation, and turn its back on all clergy misconduct that does not involve criminal charges. Their only option is to get out, and hope that police take their complaints seriously.

In short, the situation with Bob Malm calls into question the entire Title IV system and its ability to address clergy misconduct. Additionally, it makes clear that diocesan officials simply cannot be trusted with issues of this sort.

Read more about the Catholic Church and Dr. Wijlins’ interview here.

Grace Church “Balances” Budget By Cutting Health Insurance


Can someone please explain to me how folks at Grace Church can claim that they are Christians when they give Bob a $100,000 bonus, but they cut employee health benefits simultaneously to “balance the budget”? Bob already was overpaid compared to comparable rectors by about $60K a year, and even more so in light of his feckless job performance.



Friday, March 6, 2020

Still More Deceptive Information from Perjuring Priest Bob Malm and Sugarland Chiow

Perjuring priest Bob Malm tries to slide one by

Here’s another example of deceptive and misleading communication from perjuring priest Bob Malm and Jeff Sugarland Chiow.

In this chronology, which Bob supplied to the Alexandria courts when he sought a protective order, there’s a subtle but telling bit of deception. Specifically, although Bob removed me from all formal roles at Grace Church, he did so AFTER my first complaint to the diocese had concluded, but not before my complaint about retaliation had been processed.

Yet in this document, Bob reverses the order of line items 2 and 3, making the chronology appear as though what was actually retaliatory conduct on his part occurred first, as if he had some hidden reason other than retaliation.

Of course, the parallel issue is that none of this is relevant to Bob’s claims that he was at imminent risk of harm and thus needed a protective order.

It’s also worth noting that Bob falsely claims that Grace Church responded to our Office of Consumer Affairs complaint by removing us from the church’s email distribution lists. That actually happened a year earlier; instead, in 2016, the church blocked Mike and me from sending email to anyone with a Gracealex.org email address. (Subsequently, Bob lied yet again, and tried to say that it was a problem with the email server. It was not.)

In the meantime, we once again see that Bob’s conduct covers a range of behavior, from sneakily deceptive, as here; to outright perjury, as in his statements made under oath.

Bob Malm, perjuring priest,

Grace Episcopal Alexandria, the clergy perjury parish. 

And remember, “God’s Grace for All.” 





Grace Church Transition Process at Risk As Church Refuses to Deal With Bob Malm’s Perjury, Misconduct

Comment from Twitter about Bob Malm’s conduct. 
In September 2019, I authored a piece for Episcopal Cafe on the role of interim ministry in congregational health. The piece, developed with the assistance of a former canon to the ordinary and an expert on the interim process, noted that one of the steps in a successful interim ministry per the seminal Alban Institute study is a congregation coming to terms with its past.

In that regard — understanding and coming to terms with its past — Grace Church presently is failing on both scores. As a result, the parish, already in a state of precipitous decline, places itself at existential risk.

Specifically, I am referring to the need to recognize and put into context Bob Malm’s role within the parish. While many of the parishioners who remain regard Bob and his “ministry” with affection, the reality is rather more complex.

For example, Bob’s compensation package, bludgeoned past a reluctant vestry, starved the parish of funds needed to serve the needy, to reach out to the community, and to properly maintain its physical plant.

Similarly, Bob’s aloof but cordial brand of narcissism, combined with his sense of entitlement, his feckless but controlling approach to parish governance, his indifference to the ethical aspects of the church and its members, and his seemingly thin personal faith, all combined to create a parish very much built in Bob’s image. People are friendly and welcoming, but there is little attention to good governance, saving for the future, or living into the baptismal covenant.

Beyond that, much like Bob, the parish devotes much of its time and energy towards meeting its own needs and desires, often emphasizing near-term consumption. Money flows in rivers for flowers at the holidays, to get absolutely blotto at Shrine Mont, and for things like the reception after the Great Vigil. But funds are in short supply to maintain the original elevator, to repave the parking lot, to serve the poor and needy, or to fund the diocese and its outreach into the world.

Most troubling, however, is that the parish, vestry, and diocese have lost any claim to moral legitimacy as they support the pious fraud of Bob Malm’s perjury and other misconduct in his conflict with me,

Unlike Lenin and Stalin, who justified their conduct by arguing that the ends justified the means, Christianity holds to the notion that certain behaviors are always and everywhere wrong. Among them are various actions by the church and Bob Malm, including:
  • Attempting to drag the dying into court absent an absolutely compelling reason to do so.
  • Lying to police, local officials, and church members.
  • Committing perjury.
  • Going after Mike and others not even arguably guilty of any wrongdoing.
  • Urging people to commit suicide.
  • Engaging in smear campaigns involving claims of mental illness and criminal conduct.
Yet Grace Church and its leadership, aided and abetted by Sugarland Chiow and encouraged by Susan Goff and the other knuckleheads at the diocese, steadfastly refuse to acknowledge these sins or their role in them.

Or, when forced to deal with these matters, as in the current litigation, they try to sidestep things by pretending that I made all this up, despite irrefutable evidence to the contrary. Just check out the dozens of Bob’s emails and other church records on this site.

Of course, that’s all part of the Malm paradigm. Deny, avoid, equivocate, attack — just don’t ever take responsibility. Or, if all else fails, make it sound good, pretend like you’re apologizing, then regroup and begin again. In other words, act like a narcissist.

In short, as Grace church moves into its sixth month of interim ministry, there are no signs to suggest that it understands, let alone has come to terms with, its past. Nor does it have any desire to do so. Or as Christine Cheevers put it, “[Bob Malm’s] gone.”

And that is exactly my point. Bob Malm is gone. Now it’s time to deal with his mess,.

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Another Fabrication by Bob Malm, Sugarland Chiow, and the Grace Church Vestry


As I move forward with the court case against Grace Episcopal Church — and likely soon against Bob Malm — it’s important to know that Bob’s talking points, developed with the help of Sugarland Chiow and distributed via Amy Medrick to the vestry and beyond, contain a bold-faced lie. It is a lie in which Bob’s own emails disprove his claim.

Here are his talking points, replete with the usual Bob Malm quotation marks to “beg meaning.” In it, look at the line where he states that the church is aware that I have been protesting ever since Bob and the church filed for a protective order.



Now, look at Bob Malm’s email to my former employer. In it, Bob states that he’s moving forward with a protective order because I have been protesting. In other words, he cites my protests as the reason for seeking a protective order.

Bob then throws in the non sequitor about how some, including his wife, see this “protesting” as “making good on threats.” (quotation marks supplied) Of course, in true Bob Malm fashion, he both fails to mention what threats he believes have occurred, while trying to shove the onus onto his wife, Leslie.

So why the fabrication to the vestry? If Bob is going to go around trashing other people, wouldn’t he or Sugarland Chiow want to make sure that their information is accurate?

Once again, Bob Malm’s own writings prove he is a liar. And that begs the question: Why are people who purport to be Christian still supporting this sort of conduct by a so-called priest?

Ironically, Bob Malm’s conduct in this matter proves that my underlying concerns about him and his behavior were warranted. Any priest who thinks it’s okay to lie under oath, to go after Mike, to try to drag the dying into court, and who sends emails and other messages that talk about someone else in the manner he does is someone who should not be a priest. And Bob’s actions make clear that folks close to him were telling the truth when they said that, for Bob, being a priest is “just a job.”

There’s nothing even remotely Christian about Bob Malm. Indeed, he is the “wolf in sheep’s clothing” about which Jesus warned you.




Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Grace Episcopal Alexandria: Leafletting Starts for Easter

Boycott Grace Episcopal Alexandria, the Clergy Perjury Parish
Boycott Grace Episcopal Alexandria, the Clergy Perjury Parish




















With Lent comes Easter. That means the leafletting begins this weekend in preparation for Easter. 

It’s no secret that a great many so-called Christians turn out only for Christmas and Easter, but that begs the question: Even if you’re nominally observant, do you really want to worship at a church where the rector commits perjury, tries to drag the dying into court, misuses memorial funds, and goes after innocent family members?

The answer, I suspect, is that many consider themselves Christians, but fear getting too caught up in the politics, petty animosities, and childish antics present at far too many churches. With that in mind, it’s only fair for folks to know: Worship at Grace church is beautiful and the building lovely, but it is one ugly, ugly church, where:
  • The rector commits perjury. 
  • The rector conducts smear campaigns
  • The church tries to drag a dying woman into court.
  • Members talk about you, not to you.
  • Members flip you off—how’s that for the baptismal covenant in action?
  • It’s okay to call your former members “domestic terrorists” in an effort to silence criticism.
  • The church has so little respect for women and others affected by domestic violence that it abuses the protective order system to try to shut down critics. And Bob Malm, Kemp Williams, Jean Reed and others toss around references to mental illness with careless abandon.
  • The vestry, staff, members, and current clergy are good with all of this; indeed, they defend it in court and continue to give of their time, talent and treasure to support these forms of misconduct.
In short, Grace Episcopal is morally bankrupt and makes no bones about it.

With all of that in mind, my goal is to leaflet at least 10,000 homes in Alexandria to warn people: Grace Episcopal, the clergy perjury parish, is toxic. 

Avoid it if you value your personal integrity.