Friday, January 25, 2030

Bob Malm: Club Protest Membership Countdown

By virtue of trying to shutdown criticism by going to court with his facially false claims that he had been threatened, pseudo-priest Bob Malm and Grace Episcopal signed up for the two-year membership at Club Protest. No refunds, late payments result in an extension of membership. And his decision to include Mike in his vendetta, his multiple lies in court, and his efforts to subpoena a dying woman, all mean Bob gets the special VIP add-on package — my online presence will continue ad infinitum. That’s right, Dysfunctional Bob gets the lifetime virtual membership. Hey, Bob always did think he was special. Well, he’s right.

So, this countdown timer doesn’t mark the countdown to an end to open hostilities. But it does mark the payout of Dysfunctional Bob’s basic Club Protest membership.That said, I have always believed in under-promise, over-deliver, so I will no doubt extend Bob’s basic membership well beyond his original contract. And Grace Episcopal gets in on the action, for free.

By the way, if you see that the counter has passed zero and is counting up, that means that perjuring priest Bob Malm and the parish are enjoying their special free bonus time.

Hey, if he behaves, maybe we can even spot Bob some core body fitness tips. Heaven knows he’s been looking rather well-fed in recent years. And it fits — Grace Church aka St. Dysfunction is looking a whole lot leaner and meaner these days.

See you at Dysfunction Junction aka Malm Square(d)!

Sunday, May 24, 2020

See for Yourself: Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Served Additional Request for Admission

Earlier today, I served an additional Request for Admission to perjuring priest Bob Malm. This brings the total to 35.

In this one, I look at that reasons behind my concerns about church governance, which include allegations that Bob lied repeatedly to vestry members. Needless to say, this does not lead to a whole lot of confidence in Bob’s overall leadership.

More on the various legal actions against perjuring priest Bob Malm, Grace Episcopal Church and perjuring priest Bob Malm’s family in the coming days.

Saturday, May 23, 2020

Another Yelper Hits the Nail on the Head

Grace Episcopal recently scored another Yelp review, and whoever posted it hits the nail on the head.

“Empty rhetoric, empty rote, empty pews, empty hands.”

To which I’d add: “Empty ethics.”

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm: The Legal Client From Hell

Having been served Requests for Admission last Thursday (Ascension Day), perjuring priest Bob Malm may well be trying to hire defense counsel in one or more jurisdictions. That said, my advice to potential defense counsel is simple: Look before you leap.

Having practiced law for a number of years, and having represented a range of clients, including a couple real humdingers who were both violent and profoundly mentally ill, the one thing I learned was the perils of taking on bad clients. Some issues in the lawyer/client relationship could be managed; others could not. And in cases where problems could not be managed successfully, some really unpalatable options arise.

I’m thinking particularly of the perils of representing a client who lies. While this is not an uncommon thing, it is vital that the client be willing and able to tell his or her defense counsel the truth. Otherwise, the attorney runs the risk of being blindsided in court. 

Even worse is the sinking feeling that hits when one realizes that one has been defending a fraud. When that happens, defense counsel winds up having to refuse to proffer evidence, having to correct past testimony, or having to seek the court’s permission to withdraw from representation,

Worst of all is the situation some attorneys find themselves in, which is when they wind up in the situation previously occupied by Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow. Too close to the situation to be objective, Sugarland wound up damaging his own reputation by proffering unprofessional pleadings laden with inflammatory rhetoric, false statements of law and fact, utterly inept legal research, atrocious legal writing, a total lack of proofreading, and ethically questionable conduct by both attorney and client. Indeed, at one point Sugarland phoned defense counsel and allegedly unleashed a string of childish profanity straight out of junior high school. 

Of course, these shortcomings on Sugarland’s part also caused lasting damage to his client and related parties. And should Sugarland ever decide to repeat his ill-advised venture into civil litigation within Virginia, it’s likely that judicatories and members of the local bar alike will regard Sugarland with skepticism. And in the meantime, it’s a safe bet that Sugarland’s conduct is doing nothing to help Grace Church maintain its increasingly tenuous toehold in the local faith community.

So, my advise to potential defense counsel is this: Be sure not only that perjuring priest Bob Malm is telling you the truth, but also the whole truth and nothing but the truth. My belief is that perjuring priest Bob Malm is a master of manipulation, deceit, and duplicity, and very willing to mislead even those closest to him. Indeed, the glib manner in which he lied in front of Bishop Shannon Johnston by telling me, “Having resigned from the vestry, you were no longer eligible to serve as a trustee,” is profoundly troubling, especially since Bob’s own written chronology of events contradicts him. For Bob the motto seems to be, “Different audience, different story,” with no recognition that inventing reality on the spur of the moment is bound to cause problems for him.

The alternative is for prospective defense counsel to run the risk of assisting perjuring priest Bob Malm in his efforts to perpetrate a fraud on the courts, This does no one, including perjuring priest Bob Malm himself, any favors.

One final suggestion: Given Bob’s propensity for fiction, defense counsel would be well advised to see firsthand evidence to support perjuring priest Bob Malm’s claims. A good starting point would be to ask Bob about his assertion that my Mom repeatedly set up appointments with him and cancelled. How did she set them up? Where are the emails, phone billing records, and other evidence that this happened? Can I see them? How many times did Ms. Yahner or someone claiming to be her set up appointments with you? Who else can substantiate your claim?

Such a line of questioning will make very clear exactly what sort of prospective client you have on your hands.


Thursday, May 21, 2020

See for Yourself: Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Served Requests for Admission

A few minutes ago, I served Requests for Admission (RFA’s) on perjuring priest Bob Malm.

RFA’s are a part of the legal discovery process, and used to narrow and focus issues at hand in the court case. My RFA’s focused on Bob Malm’s fabrications and misconduct during his prior legal proceedings against me.

Perjuring priest Bob Malm has 21 days to respond.

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Pennsylvania Court Date Set for July 10

Today the Venango County Magisterial District Court set a hearing date for one of the lawsuits against perjuring priest Bob Malm. That date is July 10.

A copy of the notice is below.

Jan Spence’s Ugly Gossip

One recurring theme on this blog is the ugly nature of conversation at Grace Church. A particularly ugly — and illustrative — such situation involves Jan Spence and her comments about one of the church’s young parishioners.

Specifically, one day Jan recounted to a group of parishioners, myself included, her belief that a particular person is gay and closeted, saying “it’s only a matter of time before he comes out.”

Let’s think about that.

Assuming that person is gay — and I don’t know why anyone would care — it’s none of Jan’s business. That’s doubly the case if indeed he is in the closet. And it’s even more problematic to spread that sort of gossip within the parish.

To make matters worse, Jan stood in a position of trust to the young man in question. She worked with him in the Journey to Adulthood program, which means her conduct towards him should be above reproach.

And for the record, I will not disclose who the young person is. I like him. I like his parents. How he handles his sexuality is up to him, no one else. And I will continue to like him without regard for his sexual orientation, whatever that may be.

That fact that Jan Spence apparently doesn’t see any issue with her conduct is appalling and disgraceful. And it’s typical of the ugly behind-the-scenes discourse that goes on within the parish, and illustrates the broken ethics in the church.

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

BREAKING: Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Sued for $375,000 in Fairfax Circuit Court

Moments ago, I filed suit for abuse of process and the intentional infliction of emotional distress in the Fairfax County Circuit Court against perjuring priest Bob Malm. Damages requested exceed $375,000.

A copy of the filing, case number  2020 06840, is available in PDF here.

Regrettably, this course of action became necessary after the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia repeatedly refused my request to mediate the dispute on the grounds that it is “not of weighty and material importance to the ministry of the church.”

As I have said many times, the fact that The Episcopal Church says perjury is acceptable conduct for clergy unless they face criminal charges tells you all you need to know about the denomination and its ethical worldview.

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Has Been Sued

Monday, May 18, 2020

Grace Church and Perjuring Priest Bob Malm: Believe Them. They’ve Shown You Who They Are.

This is a church where it’s okay for the rector to commit perjury, where parishioners bully each other, urge others to commit suicide, flip others off, call bloggers “domestic terrorists,” and try to drag the dying into court. It’s a place where the rector calls his own parishioners “sick,” “twisted,” and “dysfunctional.”

So why are you expecting something different from this sad, dysfunctional, toxic church? Or this sad, dysfunctional, toxic diocese, where the ethical standard is so low that priests are only held accountable if they face criminal charges?

They have already shown you their true colors.

Believe them the first time.

See for Yourself: Use of Force Investigation Involving SGT Schultz, Alexandria Police Department

Readers may recall that some time ago I experienced an issue with SGT Schultz of the Alexandria police department, who appears to feel that being a police officer allows him to push and shove citizens without justification. In response, I filed a formal complaint and, having not received a response, I recently followed up with the mayor and city council.

Here is the response I received:

While I am glad to see that the department seemingly is taking things seriously, there’s one serious catch. The catch is that I never received a response from the city’s previous investigation, which involved a member of the Professional Responsibility Unit lying, in writing, to other officers.

In other words, I’m hardly reassured.

At this point, I’m going to give it a few more days before beginning legal action against the city. While I have had a good relationship with a number of city officials over the years, I am not willing to turn a blind eye to improper conduct by the police department.

Saturday, May 16, 2020

BREAKING NEWS: Additional Lawsuit Coming for Perjuring Priest Bob Malm

Early next week, I will be back in Northern Virginia to file another lawsuit against perjuring priest Bob Malm. This one will be filed against him individually and will cover additional allegations of tortious conduct. Additionally, the complaint requests punitive damages of at least $350,000.

I will post the complaint online as soon as it is filed.

Bob Malm, perjuring priest.

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Breaking News: Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Sued in Pennsylvania

With the courts now open again in Pennsylvania, one of the lawsuits pending against perjuring priest Bob Malm moved forward in that state.

The case is predicated on perjuring priest Bob Malm’s efforts to drag Mom, dying of COPD, into court in violation of state law. Given that Bob was represented by Episcopal church attorney Jeff ”Sugarland” Chiow — a nationally recognized attorney, assisted by another law firm with ties to the church — it seems clear that Bob knew his actions were not permitted under state law. Thus, it is appropriate that perjuring priest Bob Malm be required to compensate Mom’s estate for the costs associated with defending his bogus subpoena.

I will post additional detail once the court assigns a trial date.

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Shrine Mont Defies Logic, Suggests it Will Open Late This Year

Before we take the plunge, let me say this: I have no existing quarrel with Shrine Mont. That said, its response to the COVID-19 pandemic is straight out of “Dumb and Dumber.”

In recent communiques, the retreat says it may open late this year, and that it’s following the pandemic closely. Okay fine, but that misses the mark.

Rosslyn, the other diocesan retreat and situs of the bishop’s residence, wisely announced several weeks ago that it is closed for the remainder of the year. And while I recognize that Shrine Mont often is one of the few local jobs available for youth in the area, it needs to close too.

The reality is that we are not in the late stages of the pandemic. We’re not even in the middle stages. Indeed, based on the relatively small percentage of the population infected, we are in the very early stages.

Nor is a vaccine or effective treatment a given. While odds favor both, the reality is that viruses remain potent, nimble foes, with the ability to mutate and otherwise respond to changing medical interventions. And while some Americans are already chafing at stay-at-home directives, viruses are able to play a long waiting game, with degraded forms of viruses even found in mummies.

To make matters worse, church attendance is recognized as a super-spreading event. While I am no fan of the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia and its feckless approach to governance, to its credit the diocese itself recognizes this in its announcements regarding regathering.

The problem with Shrine Mont, however, is that the very things that make it unique and fun are risky. That includes:
  • Communal dining
  • Singing events
  • Sharing rooms
  • Socializing in close quarters and more,
Indeed, even check-in is risky when folks must gather in a hotel lobby, and I cannot see any way that rooms can be sanitized to a level that supports the volume of traffic that Shrine Mont experiences. Indeed, many of the rooms don’t even have adequate distancing between beds and outside windows, given that there is no air conditioning.

Moreover, while there seemingly is little community transmission of the virus in rural areas within Virginia, many of the big churches come from Richmond and NVA, both epicenters of the outbreak. Thus, Shrine Mont runs the risk of bringing clusters of cases into the Shenandoah Valley, with a very real possibility of infecting camp counselors and kitchen staff.

At the end of the day, church remains a super-spreading event, whether it occurs indoors at churches in Northern VA, or at the comparatively rural Shrine Mont. And neither will be safe for clergy and parishioners who are 65+ or who have chronic health diseases any time soon. And the risk of adverse publicity remains great, for a cluster of cases originating at Shrine Mont would garner headlines nationwide, and put the lie to the diocese’s claims of putting the needs of others first.

Then there is the issue of the unknown effects of the disease. With some patients reporting ongoing cognitive difficulties, kidney and lung damage, and inflammatory responses throughout the body, plus the recent deaths of children due to previously unrecognized manifestations of the disease, it’s much too early to think about “nice-to-have” events like Shrine Mont.

To make matters worse, Shrine Mont continues to hold out hope that it will have groups there this summer. But for the reasons referenced above, this is a profoundly bad idea, and the diocese, Susan Goff, and Shrine Mont all make themselves look stupid by hedging their bets.

But then, given that the diocese is okay with Bob Malm’s perjury on the grounds that he did not face criminal charges, and his appalling courtroom conduct, there’s little reason to suspect that it will ultimately act in a particularly ethical manner when it comes to Shrine Mont.

We’ll see.

In the meantime, Shrine Mont needs to do the right thing, quit beating around the bush, and recognize that it simply cannot ensure a reasonable level of safety in the midst of a pandemic.

Rogers, Joseph, O’Donnell and Sugarland Chiow Recognized for Government Contracting Work

Sugarland Chiow and his law firm were recently recognized by Chambers & Partners for their government contracts work. Chambers & Partners is a worldwide ranking service that lists attorneys by region and practice area.

In doing so, Chambers ranked Sugarland as a Band Four attorney. While this may not sound like much of an honor, the category is replete with luminaries that include Akin, Gump, Strauss et al, Reed Smith, and Venable.

Likely not factored into the ratings are Sugarland’s demonstrated propensity for referring to bloggers as “domestic terrorists,” his courtroom fabrications, his inflammatory and dilatory pleadings, his efforts to drag a dying woman into court, his false statements of law and fact, and his fake church shootings in fictional locations.

But then, Sugarland’s questionable performance as an attorney is perhaps mirrored in his law firm’s marketing materials, which themselves reflect careless editing. Indeed, in the firm’s press release, it states, “We are honored to be ranked among the top law firms in the United States for the work that we dedicate our time too [sic].”

Res ipsa loquitor, or “the thing speaks for itself.”

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Grace Episcopal’s Screwed Up Budget Under Perjuring Priest Bob Malm

In previous posts, I’ve talked about the fact that under perjuring priest Bob Malm, Grace Episcopal spent one out of every five dollars on Bob. That’s right—in a roughly $1 million budget, one out of every five dollars went into perjuring priest Bob Malm’s pocket.

Yes, that is shocking, and even more so because Bob’s extravagant lifestyle left him unable to pay his bills for much of that time, with not even token savings available to him and his family. Indeed, this author had to guarantee out of his personal funds the installation of the handrails outside perjuring priest Bob Malm’s home following his 2014 accident after questions arose about his ability to pay this bill, which was less than $4,000.

Similarly, while Grace claims to be a center for outreach and healing, the reality is most of its funds go to keeping the good times rolling. Whether it’s the thousands spent on flowers during the holidays, funds for the drunken blow-out that is Shrine Mont, or lavish catered farewell parties for mediocre and disruptive head of school Chris Byrnes, the priority almost always is having fun. Not feeding the hungry, not maintaining the building. Just good old narcissistic fun.

And at a time when the vestry approved a $100,000 bonus to Bob Malm, it almost simultaneously approved cutting health benefits to employees—many of whom already barely make ends meet. Nor was Bob powerless to effect change. If nothing else, he could have donated the bonus to help less fortunate staff members. But Bob will get his, even if others don’t get theirs. Do you see a pattern here?

Below is a visual dashboard of church finances under perjuring priest Bob Malm. Note that 45 percent of the church budget went to paying for Bob and the building, with the latter drastically underfunded and no effort made to set aside income for the future.

This surely is one screwed up church.

Grace Episcopal Alexandria’s Screwed Up Budget

Friday, May 8, 2020

See for Yourself: Perjuring Priest Bob Malm’s Fake Apology

Some time ago, the Princess Porcine aka Lisa Medley made much of perjuring priest Bob Malm’s so-called apology, claiming that he somehow “humbled himself.” As with many things coming out of the Princess’s snout, her comments were a load of ugly BS — or maybe PS.

As most mediators recognize, a true apology never includes the word “but.” And if the so-called apology tries to shift the onus onto the other person, it’s not an apology, but an insult and likely to make matters worse.

Now, take a look at perjuring priest Bob Malm’s misleading fauxpology. Not only does it attempt to shift responsibility for the problem to Mike, but it attempts to mislead. Specifically, it claims that Mike’s memorial donations, which went AWOL, were “properly recorded in the book.” But the real issue was that Bob Malm had instructed church staff not to include Mike’s name, or mine, in any church publications. Thus, the church did not honor the terms and conditions under which it solicited donations. At best, this is breach of contract. At worst, it is fraud. And no matter how you parse it, it is not Christian.

Oh, and remind me again what Mike did to Bob?

Speaking of, I love perjuring priest Bob Malm’s narcissistic thing about how, at an effort at reconciliation, now we can **drum roll please** give money to the church. Boy, that really does it for me. So glad to know we can send money to support blood-sucking leaches like perjuring priest Bob Malm. Heck, maybe with enough donations someone can give Bob another $100K bonus,

And did you notice how Bob is so insecure he can never own up to his own behavior? Indeed, he pulls in enablers like Sugarland Chiow—all I can say is I hope Summer Chiow is setting a better example for their kids. And for the record, no one has to impugn Jeff’s integrity. His actions speak for themselves.

Bob Malm, perjuring priest.

Bob Malm, bully.

Bob Malm, trailer park trash. (No disrespect to those who live in trailer parks or sub-standard housing. And no, I don’t wish Bob Malm as a neighbor on you.)

Online Petition Requesting Investigation of Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Passes 11,000 Signatures

Yesterday afternoon, our online petition about perjuring priest Bob Malm passed 11,000 signatures as signatures continue to roll in.

While there is every reason to believe that the corrupt Episcopal Church will continue to support perjuring priest Bob Malm, the good news is that the demographics of align closely with those young people most likely to join the denomination. Thus, people have the data they need to make an informed decision about membership.

If bishops who support clergy perjury, bullying the dying, calling others “domestic terrorists,” urging others to commit suicide, and clergy who are okay with these things comport with your idea of Christianity, Grace Episcopal and the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia welcome you!

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Move to Virtual Services Underscores Interpersonal Problems at Grace Episcopal Alexandria

PB Michael Curry shows a little love to fellow Yale alum perjuring priest Bob Malm
As churches nationwide hold virtual services amidst the pandemic, one of the hot topics has been how to keep online meetings safe. Safe from Zoom-bombing, safe from misconduct from within the church.

These discussions illustrate a longstanding problem at Grace Church under the reign of perjuring priest Bob Malm that continues to this day, which is the lack of formal or informal policies regarding how parishioners interact with one another.

Consider, for example, the online Safe Church training offered by VTS, located here. In it, there are a series of valuable recommendations regarding Zoom and other online fora, and how to keep these virtual places safe. Most of the recommendations are common sense, like transparency and having unrelated adults present. Others are specific to virtual settings, like being aware of what is on your screen, and turning off screen sharing for others. Let’s face it — whether it’s confidential documents relating to a clergy transition, emails from unpopular former parishioners, or photos from someone’s college days, there’s plenty out there that isn’t x-rated, yet still not appropriate for widespread dissemination.

Most telling though is Sarah’s comment that all community rules about how we talk and interact with each other apply online. That begs the question: What are those rules at Grace Church?

To start with, there are no written guidelines within the parish. That dearth of written guidance means we are left to look at de facto guidelines in the form of mores and social norms. That’s where things get really ugly — and we can see just how ugly by looking at real-life examples of conversations and behavior that I’ve observed within Grace Church. These include:
  • Gossip about one parishioner’s alleged penile implant. Seriously—you can’t make this stuff up.
  • Conversation about how one recently married parishioner allegedly is secretly gay or bisexual.
  • Aggressive conduct by one single female parishioner, including attempting to push married men up against the wall and kissing them after having too much to drink.
  • Rumors and conversations about affairs among married parishioners.
  • Discussions about Bob and Leslie Malm’s legendarily noisy verbal altercations (yes, I get that clergy are always the subject of conversation, but do I really need to know about this? Bob can behave badly enough within the church that I don’t particularly want to know the specifics of his conduct at home. But hey, to use his phrase, his is a “close” family.) 
  • Written statements by Sugarland Chiow in public court documents claiming that I am a “domestic terrorist,” a “serial liar,” that I never was licensed as an attorney, and referencing a fictional church shooting in a non-existent town in Texas.
  • The ugly conduct of Alison “Bullying for Jesus” Campbell, Lisa “Princess Porcine” Medley and other purported parish leaders.
  • Bullying within the altar guild and choir and among church staff.
  • A member of Lisa Medley’s family urging me in writing to commit suicide.
Of course, in all of this perjuring priest Bob Malm has consistently turned a blind eye to misconduct in the parish and engaged in a certain amount of it himself. For example, one only has to look at perjuring priest Bob Malm’s references to me as “sick,” “twisted,” and “dysfunctional” to realize just how screwed up Grace Church is, and how bogus Bob’s claims are when it comes to professing to be a Christian.

Nor is the diocese any better. As I have noted many times, the diocese not only refers to these issues in writing as “not of weighty and material importance to the ministry of the church,” but it even has gone so far as to say that Bob Malm’s perjury is okay on the grounds that he hasn’t faced criminal charges. And that comes from Bishop Susan Goff, the Rev. Sven vanBaars (now a delegate to GC) and the Rev. Melissa Hollerith (laughably enough, ethics instructor at St. Albans and wife of Randy Hollerith, the Dean of the National Cathedral). 

Even ++Michael Curry has direct knowledge of the allegations involving Bob Malm, yet does nothing. 

So, it’s fair to say that even at its highest echelons, The Episcopal Church is morally bankrupt and utterly broken. 

Thus, if you are concerned about making the world a better, more humane and loving place, you should avoid The Episcopal Church, Grace Church, and their toxic behavior.

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Theft: Another Reason to Steer Clear of Grace Episcopal Alexandria

As if there weren’t plenty of other reasons to avoid Grace Episcopal in Alexandria, there’s one specific matter that gives cause for concern and that is theft within the church. While not an every day thing, there are enough issues to warrant asking the question, “What does this tell me about the parish?”

Several years ago, Bob Malm discovered that a young parishioner with access to his sister’s keys had entered locked rooms within the school and stolen a number of laptops. Nothing really came of the matter, except that the laptops were locked in a closet keyed differently than other doors in the building. No felony charges, no being told to find a new church—the latter only happened under perjuring priest Bob Malm for the crime of lèse-majesté, or giving offense to His Malmness. Yup, offend Bob, and you will get voted off Planet Malm. And don’t think we’re talking about a vote of the vestry or something similar — we’re talking imperial fiat involving only Bob Malm.

Nor is that the only time theft has occurred at the church.

As a confirmed foodie, on several occasions I donated high-end kitchen linens, cookware, and food items for use in the second- and third-floor kitchens, only to discover that the items disappeared in short order, never to return. 

None of the items cost thousands of dollars, so it’s not like I lost sleep over these thefts. But stealing is stealing, and the fact that this sort of thing happened multiple times in the parish is disconcerting and disappointing.

In short, this conduct speaks volumes to the real values and mores of the parish. What it says is not good.

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Episcopal Cafe Confirms the Risks of Communal Singing During Pandemic

I’ve posted several times about the fact that perjuring priest Bob Malm continues his feckless indifference to the welfare of his parish due to his continued use of a choir during Sunday services, including the lack of social distancing evinced in St. Gabriel’s Vimeo feed.

Today, the risk has been confirmed by Episcopal Cafe.

In a piece written by John Chilton, the blog confirms that singing in a communal setting is a highly risky activity.

So the question becomes, “Will perjuring priest Bob Malm take things seriously and act to protect his parishioners?”

If history is any indicator — or Bob’s repeated instances of dabbing at his runny nose with a handkerchief while celebrating Mass provide a hint — the answer is hell no.

Monday, May 4, 2020

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Continues to Place Church Members at Risk of COVID-19

You have to hand it to perjuring priest Bob Malm. Not only is he reckless and indifferent when it comes to the obligations of being clergy, but he is remarkably stubborn—an ugly combination in the best of times.

Now, in the midst of a global pandemic, perjuring priest Bob Malm continues to ignore basic precautions to prevent the transmission of the virus. These measures include not touching one’s face or nose and washing one’s hands before and after if one absolutely must do so. Even more important is recognizing that singing in a choir is considered a “super-spreader” event, which aerosolizes respiratory droplets, thus making participation in a church choir highly risky.

In the attached screen cap from perjuring priest Bob Malm’s May 3rd service at St. Gabriel’s Marion Massachusetts, we see Bob yet again wiping his nose with a handkerchief, with no before or after sanitation. As a result, he places himself at risk, while contaminating vestments, altar linens, his wireless microphone and everything else he touches with any bacterial or viral cultures present.

Even more worrisome, choir members are much less than 6 feet apart. Ideally, there should be no choir members present, but if that is a necessity, they should be spread as far apart as possible throughout the nave. Not only does that not happen, but everyone at the room is considered high risk due to age.

So, my message to St. Gabriel’s is this: If you take nothing else from this blog, please be aware that if you are participating in Sunday services during the lockdown you are placing yourself, your church, your loved ones, and your community at risk. While you no doubt are well-intentioned, love of others requires that you do all you can to prevent the spread of the pandemic.

To learn more about the risks of airborne transmission during the pandemic, see
Perjuring priest Bob Malm places church members at risk of COVID-19

Sunday, May 3, 2020

Why Grace’s Transition is Doomed to Fail

Grace Church has a problem. Not just one problem, but one really big problem. Specifically, the interim/transition process is not going to succeed.

To be fair, there are some incremental improvements under Michael Guy. But long-term success simply isn’t going to happen.

The problem is that Grace Church is an isolated system. Yes, it has some external interfaces with the diocese, but those are limited to information that flows through Michael Guy and the vestry. And that information is filtered via a constant, which is the family system in the parish.

What does that mean in practice? 

Primarily that the parish survey and other data obtained during the transition process reflects only the views of those who have stayed throughout Bob Malm’s reign of feckless, narcissistic indifference. Thus, survey results are inherently skewed towards those who think Grace Church is wonderful, or at least tolerable. That omits the experiences of the dozens of people who have left the parish in recent years. the loss of 1/3 of its pledging units, and the breach of trust evinced by Bob Malm’s decision to try to drag a dying woman into court, his perjury, his lies, his smear campaigns and more. And even otherwise sensible individuals either turn a blind eye to these issues, or actively provide support. 

Consider: Sugarland Chiow and his family remain members of the church and attend regularly, despite his written claims that the church is the victim of “domestic terrorism.” What kind of husband or parent exposes his wife and children to a situation that he claims involves “domestic terrorism?” One has to wonder.

Thus, as a closed system, members perpetuate the notion that all is well at Grace Church and resoundingly reject anyone who says otherwise. Anyone who disagrees gets tagged as “dysfunctional,” which is Bob Malm’s not-so-Christian label for anyone who disagrees with him. And folks like Jean Reed, Kemp Williams, and Kelly Gable feel free to wade in with their gossip and speculation — but never with any concern for the person they claim is “dysfunctional.” In short, Grace is a goofy loop of narcissistic self-ratification with no external reference point.

Nor will the diocese be of any help. It refuses to address the problems in the parish, and adamantly refuses to tell the truth, even going so far as to trot out the specious argument that Bob Malm is not perjurer on the grounds that he hasn’t been convicted. I guess the same logic applies to sexual misconduct: Clergy cannot, for example, be child molesters unless they have been convicted. After all, molesting children is illegal, right?\

The sad reality is that Grace Church needs truthtelling. It needs to see itself as others see it. It needs to understand that bullying, hateful comments, mobbing, gossip (the speculation about married men in the parish being gay is particularly ugly), and more are neither normal nor acceptable in a healthy church.

So how will the church gain perspective? A good start is being going outside the church’s closed system and surveying the world outside its doors. What do school staff think about the church? Former members? Members of other parishes? Church members in other denominations? What would former members say if asked why they left? What are their thoughts on how the church responds to conflict? Such data should be requested both via the website and in-person listening sessions.

(I’ll give you a hint: It is entirely inappropriate for clergy to try to label people who disagree with them as “dysfunctional”. It’s even more inappropriate to make those statements in emails to diocesan officials. And still more inappropriate for Shannon “Two-Faced” Johnston to accept these sorts of communications from clergy. See below.)

Much of the feedback that would come in would be unsettling. Some would be downright ugly, as it reflects Bob’s ugly conduct. But as Bob Malm said in his communication to the Grace vestry, when he disseminated his facially untruthful “talking points,” “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” 

As things stand, Grace Church, its leadership and the diocese are wedded to Bob Malm’s perjury and other misconduct. As such, they are imprisoned by the toxic legacy of Bob Malm.

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Looking for Jesus? You Won’t Find Him in the Discourse at Grace Church

As Grace Church prepares for Dysfunctional Bob’s departure and the arrival of an interim rector, one thing is painfully clear: Any interim brave enough (or perhaps foolish enough) to take the position has her work cut out for her. Specifically, after 30 years of Dysfunctional Bob and his sordid example, the way people in the church talk about each other, and to each other, is appalling.

To be sure, it took me a long time to spot this issue myself. Indeed, it was a member of the Grace Episcopal School staff, herself Episcopal, who pointed it out to me in 2014. Her exact words: “I would never belong to your church, and it’s because of the way people talk to each other. And it goes right to the top. And I’ll tell you right now, Bob will never say anything about it. And because he engages in a certain amount of it himself, he shows people that it’s alright.”

At the time, I foolishly came to Bob’s defense; it was more than a year later before I finally realized that she was absolutely correct.

Now, with the advantage of hindsight, and having seen firsthand that Dysfunctional Bob is morally bankrupt and a perjurer as well, I realize that this ugly discourse does indeed permeate every aspect of Grace Church. Whether it’s Alison Campbell and her fun and games with the altar guild; Lisa Medley and her bullying/bitchy behavior; Teresa Preston and her gestures that indicate she believes I’m mentally ill; Eric Waskowiscz, Amy Medrick and others with their one-gun salutes to Jesus, or Bob Malm in his emails to the vestry and the diocese, there is a profoundly un-Christian attitude within the church that comes to the surface when parishioners talk to each other.

Before we go further, I am not the only one to notice it. Kyle Babin, himself the target of bullying by choir members, called it an “evil spirit” at Grace Church.  Former member John Cunningham posted to Facebook, saying he left the parish due to bullying and other abusive conduct (screen cap below).

Additionally, folks at the Wartburg Watch commented on ugly comments from Lisa Medley and Leslie Malm; the former didn’t even have the courage to post under her name. Their comment: “[these parishioners] seem sane to themselves, they seem immature and hateful to outsiders looking at their behavior.” (Screen cap below)

Going right to the top, we have Dysfunctional Bob’s email to the vestry, in which he describes me as a “sad individual...starving for attention.” While this is an interesting bit of projection from Bob Malm, who regularly curries adulation in order to support his shaky sense of self, the fact the he feels comfortable talking about a former parishioner to the vestry in this manner is telling and illustrates the church culture that Bob has promoted during his 30 years with the parish. (Screen cap below.)

Of course, there also is the comment from a college-aged member of Lisa Medley’s family, in which she urges me to commit suicide. (Screen cap below.)

So what can an interim do to address this situation? Establishing written norms would be helpful, but unpacking and fixing 30 years’ of Dysfunctional Bob’s toxic behavior and lessons learned within the parish about conflict resolution will probably take professional intervention. Even then, it’s an uphill battle, and both the diocese and church members like to sweep such issues under the rug and deny that an issue exists. Indeed, toxic parishioners like Lisa Medley not only deny that an issue exists, but also attack anyone who raises these issues. (Screen cap below.)

It should also be noted that Dee Parsons, publisher of the Wartburg Watch, herself experienced Bob Malm’s efforts at bullying and manipulating her. First, Bob tried the noisy bluster approach, which didn’t work at all. Then he tried flattery. Then he tried manipulation, claiming that Dee had promised to take down any posts about me, all the while ignoring Dee’s recommendation to work towards reconciliation.

As one looks at other correspondence from within the parish, including Jean Reed’s speculation that I am mentally ill, as well as former friend Kemp Williams comments, one reaches the same conclusion that user Ishy, a commenter on the Wartburg Watch, came to as she asked church members:

“What kind of Christians are you? I don’t see any love or concern for Eric in your posts. I don’t see that you tried to do anything about it other than make sure Eric couldn’t come back either. (Emphasis added. Original in screen cap above.)

That conclusion holds true for Bishop Susan Goff on down to the Grace Church vestry and membership. Nowhere is there any evidence of any real concern including for Mike and my other family members hurt by Bob Malm’s conduct, and that of the church. 

So, if you are a prospective interim and you are reading this, just know that if you take the job you are going to have one toxic mess on your hands, and one that requires professional outside intervention.

On the other hand, if you are a church leader reading this and contemplating hiring Bob Malm as supply clergy, you should know that this is part of the baggage that comes with Bob Malm. Caveat emptor.

Lastly, if you are a prospective member, it is important to know that right behind the beautiful, friendly exterior, this is the sort of internal rot that runs rampant at Grace Church. If you join the parish, this is part of the package deal. To quote Proverbs, “in the tongue is the power of life and death.”

Grace Church is just plain bad karma.

See for Yourself: My Email to Grace Church After it Again Uses My Photo Without Authorization

In Virginia, unlike other jurisdictions, the courts recognize only a very limited right to privacy, which covers use of one’s photo or name for advertising or marketing purposes. With that in mind, and in light of Grace Church’s appalling conduct over the past several years, in 2015 I asked Bob Malm in writing not to use my image in any church publications. Unfortunately, in the May edition of Grace Notes, a photo of me from 2014 appears, standing right behind Lucy Lee Reed.

For the record, I adore Lucy Lee. She is a good people and has an amazing work ethic—not to mention makes wonderful salmon! But I don’t want anyone to get the idea that I implicitly or in any other way support or condone Grace Church, the diocese, or the larger Episcopal church.

Here is the photo:

And here is my email, sent to Anne Caputo, Paul Bellantoni, parish clergy, June Huber, and the church’s attorney.

Of course, given the church’s claims in writing, made via Sugarland Chiow, that I am a “domestic terrorist,” one has to wonder who thought including my photo was a great idea.

Hopefully this is the last time the issue comes up. But if it comes up again, Grace Church and I will be locking horns in court.

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Roslyn Retreat Center Closes for Remainder of 2020

The Roslyn Retreat Center, one of two retreat centers owned and operated by the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, today announced that it is furloughing employees and closing for the remainder of 2020. The move is in response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Per remarks for Bishop Susan “It’s Not Misconduct if there are No Criminal Charges” Goff, the news was first relayed to staff at Shrine Mont, which is still debating how best to respond to the pandemic. Curiously, Shrine Mont is currently saying that it will open for the season in late May — prior to the lifting of the governor’s lockdown, and well before the pandemic is predicted to peak in the state.

In Roslyn’s case, news of the closure is not yet posted on the center’s website. I believe, however, in light of the denomination’s aging demographics and the fact that the CDC has deemed worship services and choir practices to be “super spreader” events, that the decision to close is appropriate.

The financial implications of the closures of diocesan-related organizations will be severe. While these organizations will have relatively limited carrying costs, especially with the furloughs, grounds maintenance and other structural expenses continue, regardless of whether they are open or closed. Moreover, while the diocese historically is relatively secretive about the details of its finances, it appears to derive several hundred thousand dollars a year in income from these facilities. That’s important at a time when the diocesan budget is declining on average more than 2% every year.

My guess is that Shine Mont also will close for the year, as there’s simply no way to safely move large groups through, particularly in light of the number of persons who share rooms, and the common dining facilities. But one way or another, the diocese faces some damned rocky times ahead.

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

BREAKING NEWS: Online Petition Seeking Investigation of Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Passes 10,000 Supporters

Just moments ago, our online petition demanding that the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia investigate perjuring priest Bob Malm passed 10,000 signatures. The news comes despite a brief lull in signatures earlier this week.

Check it out!

Petition Demanding an Investigation of Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Garners More than 10,000 Signatures!

Sunday, April 26, 2020

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Wastes Time and Money, Announces He’s Taking Interim Training

At today’s service, perjuring priest Bob Malm, now interim rector at St. Gabriel’s Marion, announced that, during the coming week, he will be taking online interim training. The move is a waste of time and money for all involved.

Interim training is the formal education by which clergy learn how to serve as interims. Topics covered include how to help congregations come to terms with the past, how to vision the future, how to align with denominational norms, and more.

The problems with perjuring priest Bob Malm serving as an interim are myriad and touch on all these areas.

First, the timing underscores the lack of seriousness with which the diocese and parish are taking these issues. The average interim period runs for 12-16 months, often longer when a rector has been with a parish for an extended period of time. Now, seven months into this gig (no way I’m going to use the term “calling”), perjuring priest Bob Malm finally gets his training. That right there speaks volumes about the transition process in DioMass.

Second, my belief is that it would be difficult to find clergy less suited to interim ministry than perjuring priest Bob Malm. Between his narcissistic focus on self, to his confident but empty professions of faith, to his utter lack of personal integrity, to his disastrous tenure at Grace Episcopal, Bob has none of the attributes needed to help a parish transition successfully.

Third, Bishop Gates and the diocesan staff are largely responsible for this debacle. They are fully aware of the issues with perjuring priest Bob Malm, but seemingly have accepted the assurances coming from DioVA and perjuring priest Bob Malm himself that there’s nothing troubling about Bob’s conduct. That of course is like asking the fox who destroyed the hen house — one is highly unlikely to get an accurate answer.

That said, one need only look to the tone and tenor of perjuring priest Bob Malm’s correspondence with parish and diocesan officials, in which he refers to me as “sick,” “twisted,” and “dysfunctional,” or his weird claims that he’s threatened by “domestic terrorism,” to realize just how spectacularly ill-suited Bob is to the task. Then we come to the matter of his decision to try to drag a dying woman into court, which is irrefutable; and his perjury, which is readily ascertained simply by asking Bob to provide one scrap of evidence to support his claim that my mother, or someone claiming to be her, repeatedly set up appointments with him, only to cancel.

In ignoring these unambiguous warning signs, Gates’ conduct is akin to saying, “Yes, we knew there were allegations that Father X molested children, but we had assurances that these allegations were not true.” 

The reality is that perjury is a serious charge, and the fact that perjuring priest Bob Malm can continue to serve as a priest without any examination of the underlying issues makes clear that both the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts and DioVA are utterly corrupt, as are the bishops and staff of both.

Fourth and most importantly, no rector is going to be successful over time, nor the parish that he or she serves, when their entire ministry is a lie. Jesus came to lift up the poor, the oppressed, the outcast. Perjuring priest Bob Malm creates the oppressed, the outcast. In short, perjuring priest Bob Malm is the modern-day version of the very same Scribes and Pharisees against whom Jesus railed. 

Bottom line, hypocrisy can never serve as the basis for a healthy faith, nor can it result in a healthy church.

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Repost: See for Yourself: Perjuring Priest Bob Malm’s Original Request for a Protective Order Shows the Real Grace Church

This one is great. In it, we see perjuring priest Bob’s facially inadequate claims of threats,  which have, thus far, enjoyed Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow’s professional support. In addition, more of perjuring priest Bob Malm’s intimations of mental illness (including multiple personalities, a disorder closely associated with severe abuse), as well as his facially irrelevant letter from the bishop and his references to blogging. Note too that perjuring priest Bob Malm lies in his chronology about the meeting in Fredericksburg; at no time was there any discussion about “following the bishop’s guidance.” To the contrary, perjuring priest Bob Malm agreed to stop his bullying. It’s also noteworthy that perjuring priest Bob Malm lied in front of the bishop, falsely stating, “Having resigned from the vestry, you were no longer eligible to serve as a trustee.” To which I replied, “Why then, are none of your current trustees vestry members?” Perjuring priest Bob Malm had no response to that.

Check it out.

Meanwhile, as interim pastor Michael Guy talks about preaching the Gospel, this is how Grace Church preaches the gospel in real life. As in, “by their fruits you shall know them.”

Pastor Guy, welcome to Grace Episcopal, the clergy perjury parish.