You have to hand is to Bob Malm: His hypocrisy is unparalleled. Bob may engage in shunning, bullying, perjury. He may subpoena the dying, call those entrusted to his care “domestic terrorists,” and more. Yet he’s an expert at trotting out the Jesus-babble and wrapping himself in the illusory mantel of faith.
That said, his latest bit of Jesus-babble is so over the top that family members and friends alike burst into raucous laughter when they read it.
In the July/August edition of the Grace parish newsletter, Grace Notes, Bob gasses on about building the church, saying:
“Our future depends on our building in the present—building a strong, healthy community of faithful believers who will pray, work and give to extend the work of Jesus Christ. Each one of us has a job to do; each one of us is a builder. Jesus is depending upon us to build his Church in our day and time.”
Not only has Bob done nothing to build the church, but his demands to be treated like clergy royalty have greatly hindered the church. His overly generous compensation package erodes confidence in the church and disincentives giving, since Bob gets 1 out of every 5 dollars given to the church. Nor has Bob busted his fat ass to build the church; rather, 12 percent or more of his time “on the clock” is spent on vacation, “out of town,” or otherwise unavailable.
It goes further.
Thanks to Bob’s perjury, his repeated instances of misconduct, his flouting of church canons, and his numerous petty power plays and games, Bob has done more damage to the church than any ACANA dissident could ever hope to achieve. Some of the damage Bob has inflicted directly; other damage is caused by his bad example, combined with the lack of integrity of people like David Crosby and Sugarland Chiow, who refuse to call a spade a spade and acknowledge Bob’s perjury and other misconduct.
But truly hilarious is Bob’s linking of Paul’s discussion of building the church with the HVAC project now underway at Grace. Paul wrote from a dismal stone prison cell prior to his death; Dysfunctional Bob writes as Grace plays catch-up on hundreds of thousands of dollars of overdue HVAC work on a building that, like Bob Malm, is fast becoming an archaic, irrelevant piece of history. Jesus had little use for the power and prestige of organized religion; Dysfunctional Bob truly believes that he is somehow special. Jesus rejected the Scribes and Pharisees and their hypocrisy; Bob is the consummate example of a modern-day Scribe/Pharisee.
If nothing else, Bob is the source of the occasional good laugh.