Is Bob Malm mentally ill? I don’t know the answer to that question, but believe there are factors that suggest the answer is yes. Among them:
- Bob’s seeming need for adulation, combined with constant efforts to secure more.
- His focus on power and control, and his use of forceful diction to try to create an impression of power/authority.
- His focus on superficial image and appearance.
- His carefully hidden insecurity.
- His ability to present a guileless exterior, while exhibiting behavior behind the scenes that is vile, vicious, and vindictive.
- His seeming need to live up to parental and other expectations.
- His apparent treatment of his children as an extension of himself.
- His sometimes over-the-top rages when he perceives himself to be criticized, or those close to him.
- His profound resistance to supervising staff and performing other essential components of his job.
- His belief that he’s a great supervisor and priest, when facts suggest otherwise.
- His stated beliefs that he is invincible, and doesn’t need others.
- His strong verbal skills.
- His lack of real empathy for others.
- His often practiced/rehearsed conduct, combined with oddly “flat” behavior when he cannot play a rehearsed role.
- His refusal to address conflict.
- His professed religious beliefs, which often stand in marked contrast to his conduct.
- His dismissive remarks about his wife and others whom he claims to care about.
- His seemingly shallow emotions.
- His ability to lie as needed, making stuff up as needed to suit his purposes.
- His lack of a notion of objective truth/reality.
- His projection of his own attributes on others.
- His willingness to lie and commit perjury, while loudly decrying my assertion that he has done so, all while ignoring written evidence of his deceit.
- His apparent inability to see any conflict between his professed values and his conduct.
- His willingness to ignore church policies and requirements when it suits him.
- His ability to manipulate the perceptions of others.
- His increasing paranoia, including his belief that he is pursued by “domestic terrorists.”
- His becoming disoriented in his own home, resulting in a serious fall and hospitalization in 2014.
- His tendency to address issues/conflict through manipulation, versus open dialogue.
- His unwillingness to take responsibility for his actions.
- His seeming belief that he is special or unique and should only associate with others who are special.
- His deep-seated but carefully hidden prejudices on certain issues.
- His seeming tendency to cultivate those who are wealthier or may otherwise confer perceived status on him.
- His dismissive attitude towards those who may have nicer belongings than him.
- His irrational conduct towards me and indifference to the damage it is causing to Grace Church and its members.
- His apparent belief that criticizing his conduct is somehow abusive or illegal.
- His stated belief that he can use the judicial system as a way to discipline former church members.