By |

One of the amusing things about folks at Grace Episcopal is that they not only don’t get it, but they don’t get it. As in, they continue to prove my underlying points:

  • That the parish is toxic.
  • That the parish is Christian in name only.
Moreover, folks at the church are so eager to attack others they can’t even get their story straight.
In his ill-fated settlement proposal, in which Bob Malm wanted me to quit sharing my experiences with him and the church so that he could quickly slap a layer of “Jesus-babble” on things and move on, one of Bob’s first recitations is that the ongoing dispute between us is destructive beyond the courtroom. Needless to say, he wasn’t referring to me, as there’s nothing in his settlement proposal to address my needs, except his rather thin offer not to endorse public criticism of me. (Note that, behind the scenes, which is Bob’s usual playground, Bob would have been free to say and do whatever he wanted.)
Here is the screen cap:

Yet in her posting on The Wartburg Watch, “parishioner,” most likely the ever clueless and malicious Lisa Medley, says that claiming that the dispute is hurting the church is a narcisstic contrivance on my part. Guess she’s not a big fan of the whole notion of the Body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:26). No surprise there. And it conveniently overlooks the fact that, when he thought he’d get the upper hand, Bob specifically said he wanted the conflict to continue. Well, he got his wish.
Here is the screen cap:

That raises the question: Which of the two is telling the truth? Which is it, Lisa? 

As to Lisa’s claim about Bob “humbling himself,” the apology was directed to Mike, whom no one claims had anything to do with the original dispute. Even that took two tries, as Bob’s first attempt contained was a “sorry you were upset,” non-apology that, as one would expect, simply made things worse. And, in my experience, this is typical of Bob, as he seemingly does almost anything to avoid taking responsibility for his own behavior. Moreover, Bob’s bit about giving funds is a classic bit of BM BS: The solution is use funds per the terms under which you solicit them. That’s called “integrity” kids — not to mention, “avoiding fraudulent behavior.”
Meanwhile, you have to love Bob’s logic: As a gesture of reconciliation, you can now send money. Puhleeze.
Here is the screen cap:

Here is a copy of Bob’s second try, which at least came across as a real apology. Note that, even though Mom has written to Bob, he has never directly discussed the matter with her, yet now he tries to hang his hat on the whole notion that Mom has never been to Grace Church.

Newsflash, kids: You don’t have to enter a church to be ticked off when your memorial donations are misused at Bob Malm’s direction.
Of course, the whole thing speaks volumes to both Bob’s real faith, and that of the parish. This notion is neatly summed up in a recent ECFVP video about conflict in the church, screen caps follow:

So, as you consider pledging this fall, or giving to support the HVAC project, remember: “Who we are as the church is defined by how we deal with conflict.” And “How we respond to conflict reveals what/who we truly value.”