Showing posts with label perjuring priest Bob Malm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perjuring priest Bob Malm. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Perjuring Priest Petition Passes 24,000 Signers

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

As perjuring priest Bob Malm and the Episcopal Church continue their cover-up of Malm’s conduct, I continue to collect signatures on my petition demanding accountability. A few minutes ago my petition passed 24,000 signatures—more than typically attend Sunday services in the entire Episcopal Diocese of Virginia!

How many people calling for reform before the Episcopal Church demonstrates ethical integrity?

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Gone But Not Forgotten: Perjuring Priest Bob Malm’s Toxic Legacy

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

In just a few days, it will be one year since perjuring priest Bob Malm left as rector of Grace Episcopal Church. Thus, it is appropriate to consider his toxic legacy, and the effect of his legacy on Grace Episcopal, the clergy perjury parish.

First, there’s some good news for St. Gabriel’s: Even as perjuring priest Bob Malm lives out a lie by standing up every Sunday and bloviating about peace, community, love, and forgiveness, while lying under oath, trying to drag a dying woman into court, and more, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Most interim positions last for 12-16 months, so St. Gabriel’s may be about to cut perjuring priest Bob Malm loose before he causes any lasting damage.

But at Grace Church, the damage of thirty years of perjuring priest Bob Malm continues unabated. At Grace Church, defamation is still okay. It’s still okay to bully and mob people. It’s still okay to be a priest and commit perjury. In fact, part of the building is named after a perjurer: The Malm Narthex. That’s great—all the church needs now is a children’s area named after a pedophile. And why not? If perjury is okay and enjoys the support of the diocese, surely there’s no issue with child abuse.

Nor do we see any move towards accountability or cleaning up perjuring priest Bob Malm’s mess. Yes, Michael Guy reminds people that saying you’re a Christian while turning a blind eye to misconduct and injustice is at best hypocrisy, but the response at Grace is pretty much, “Okay. Whatever.” Meanwhile, we still see people like Kemp Williams and Kelly Motormouth Gable talking about people, instead of to people, otherwise known as gossip and defamation.

Meanwhile, Grace Church also is about due for a new rector. Whether it is successful in that endeavor remains to be seen. I suspect, however, that few qualified clergy are going to be interested in a parish where it’s okay to urge others to commit suicide, or where details on donations are posted on the internet. Nor are they going to be particularly eager to have me protesting outside Sunday services. And protest I will, ‘til the cows come home.

There’s also a trend under way in the parish that bodes ill for the future, and that is the parish’s increasing exclusion of outsiders. The website says that all services are cancelled, but that is not true. Indeed, two services are now being held outside every Sunday: One for La Garcia, and one for the main parish. The only issue is that they are pretty much by invitation only. Similarly, multiple persons have told me that their requests to be added to the church’s email distribution list have been ignored. Maybe the new parish administrator is too busy decorating the now empty office to bother with potential new members. Or maybe the church simply isn’t interested in new members. Or maybe they are worried that some critic like me will access their secret gnosis. But actions speak louder than words, and the reality is that the church can’t be bothered.

It’s interesting, too. One of my fellow writers for Episcopal Cafe, George Clifford, wrote 9 years ago about how the Episcopal Church is mired in 19th century churchmanship, fusty tradition, and rampant clericalism. 

Since George wrote his article, nothing has changed. The denomination still clings to the stupidly expensive Madmen-era heap 815 Second Street as its headquarters. The church continues to try to maintain a costly and ineffectual hierarchy. Clericalism continues unabated. And the church continues its precipitous decline in membership, baptisms, and weddings.

Ironically, Grace is the epitome of these phenomena. Clutching at a pretty but antiquated building, a costly, obsolete, and sometimes ugly clericalism, and a collective faith that is best summed up as “be friendly and don’t get arrested for DUI,” Grace increasingly appears a sad anachronism, the last hurrah of 1970’s organized religion.

But rest assured, one constant remains: Bob Malm and Grace Church will continue what I call the Three L’s: Lie, litigate, and lose members. And even as the church continues its slide towards closure, no one at the church or within the diocese will ever acknowledge their role in making this happen. Instead, like true narcissists, they will blame anyone, everyone, and everything but themselves.

Of that, you may be certain.

Monday, September 21, 2020

Requests for Production of Documents Served on Perjuring Priest Bob Malm, Grace Episcopal Alexandria in Virginia Lawsuit

Moments ago I filed Requests for Production of documents with attorneys for perjuring priest Bob Malm and Grace Episcopal Alexandria, the clergy perjury parish, in the Virginia litigation.

Later this week, I will file a series of discovery requests against perjuring priest Bob Malm’s daughter, Lindsey Malm Anders, in the defamation case against here in Virginia.

Stay tuned.

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Served Requests for Admission in Pennsylvania Lawsuit


Recently I served perjuring priest Bob Malm with several legal documents in the Pennsylvania lawsuit, which seeks recovery of legal fees incurred by my late mother, Sigrid Yahner, when perjuring priest Bob Malm illegally attempted to subpoena her in Pennsylvania. 

At the time, she was terminally ill, incontinent, and suffering from a severe anxiety disorder due to her illness. As a result, she had been housebound for three years and was receiving palliative care. 

Mom's suffering did not deter perjuring priest Bob Malm, Sugarland Chiow, or the good Christians of Grace Episcopal Church,. Rather, they tried to force her to leave her home, travel into Franklin, and spend what may well have been a full day at the courthouse.

All I can say is it would have been quite a scene, Mom trying to drag her oxygen tanks, potty chair, diapers, and med cart into the courthouse. 

 Fortunately, the Venango County judge knew an illegal subpoena when he saw one, quashed it, and issued a protective order to prevent further efforts by perjuring priest Bob Malm and Sugarland Chiow to drag Mom physically into court.

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Served Interrogatories in Pennsylvania Lawsuit

Along with Requests for Admission, I recently served Interrogatories on perjuring priest Bob Malm in the Pennsylvania lawsuit. The action seeks recovery of legal fees incurred by my late mother, Sigrid Yahner, after perjuring priest Bob Malm illegally attempted to subpoena her, despite the fact she was terminally ill.

Thursday, September 17, 2020

Details: Lindsey Malm Anders Lawsuit and More

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

With the initial motions court hearing behind us, over the next few days I will begin ramping up on the Lindsey Malm Anders defamation lawsuit. This will include the filing of interrogatories, requests for the production of documents, and more.

I also anticipate we’ll have motions court in the next few weeks in the Pennsylvania case against perjuring priest Bob Malm. Most likely, we’ll see the defense try to get the case dismissed, possibly over the validity of Mom’s assignment of rights to me.

Also under way is the defamation lawsuit against Grace Church itself. We should see a responsive pleading and various motions in the coming weeks. Assuming all goes well, discovery will ramp up on that front.

I’ll also be sending requests for the production of documents to perjuring priest Bob Malm in the lawsuit against him, and will be asking the court for a subpoena against the church and its vestry members. The other side will almost certainly contest that request, so it’s off to motions court yet again. 

Fun times.

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

BREAKING NEWS: Interrogatories Served on Perjuring Priest Bob Malm

Earlier today, I served the attached interrogatories on perjuring priest Bob Malm via his attorneys. Most are questions he was previously directed by the court to answer, while several new questions address Malm’s various lies, including his claim that Mom, or someone claiming to be her, contacted him repeatedly.

Perjuring priest Bob Malm has 21 days to respond.

BREAKING NEWS: Civil Complaint Filed Against Perjuring Priest Bob Malm in Venango County Court of Common Pleas

Earlier today, I filed a civil complaint in the Venango County Court of Common Pleas against perjuring priest Bob Malm. The suit seeks to recover my late mother’s legal fees, incurred when she had to hire an attorney to quash the ultra vires subpoena perjuring priest Bob Malm filed against her as she was dying.

Malm did so in violation of state law, which expressly requires leave of court before seeking discovery in such cases. Yet even when informed of this requirement, perjuring priest Bob Malm and Sugarland Chiow ignored the law, trying to jam the subpoena past a court that had already said no via a Motion for Reconsideration, replete with inflammatory rhetoric, claims of “domestic terrorism,” and more.

Moreover, Malm did so with full knowledge that Mom was terminally ill. Later, through Sugarland Chiow, Malm tried to claim that he was unaware that she was dying.

That tells you all you need to know about perjuring priest Bob Malm, Sugarland Chiow, Grace Episcopal Church, the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, and the Episcopal Church.

Caveat emptor!

Next up: Perjuring priest Bob Malm served with interrogatories.

Monday, September 14, 2020

Perjuring Priest Petition Passes 23,000 Signatures

My petition, which demands that the Episcopal Church investigate and act on perjuring priest Bob Malm’s courtroom lies and other misconduct, has now motored past 23,000 signatures. The petition has been seen more than 302,000 times, a number representing more than 16 percent of total Episcopal church membership.

Until the church takes meaningful responsibility for its misconduct, and that of perjuring priest Bob Malm, this effort will continue. That is the case whether this takes 10 days, 10 months, or 10 years.

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

News. News. News.

Lots going on this week.

Tomorrow is motions court for the defamation case against Leslie Malm, which is under way in the Alexandria circuit.

Meanwhile, I have heard from Wayne Cyron, who is representing perjuring priest Bob Malm and his family, and he wishes to contest my motion for leave to amend in the primary Virginia case against Bob. Leave to amend is liberally granted, so that may be an uphill battle for him. That said, I will schedule a hearing soon.

Apropos the Pennsylvania lawsuit, I received a motion from Bob’s attorney that demonstrates that she is very new. Specifically, she asked for the court to issue a rule to file a complaint—which is only necessary if the defendant (that would be perjuring priest Bob Malm) is the appellant. By definition, as the appellant, I have 20 days to file a complaint. If I don’t, my case gets dismissed.

My petition also continues to gain ground, having passed 23,000 signatures. Onward and upward!

Finally, I am in discussions with fellow bloggers about a possible additional article on issues with perjuring priest Bob Malm and his misconduct. Details soon!

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

Friday, September 4, 2020

BREAKING: More Legal Developments

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

Lots of news on the legal front.

Two days ago, I filed the Pennsylvania case with the Venango County Court of Common Pleas. Notice has been served on the magistrate and perjuring priest Bob Malm in accordance with Pennsylvania law. Under the law, I now have 20 days to file a civil complaint against perjuring priest Bob Malm with the court. After that, discovery begins.

Meanwhile, I have confirmed that the case against perjuring priest Bob Malm has been transferred to the Alexandria Circuit. I therefore have filed a motion for leave to amend, so as to include perjuring priest Bob Malm’s defamation in the complaint.

Motions court is set for the ninth in the defamation case against Leslie Malm, and will be heard electronically due to the pandemic.

Things are running slowly with the Alexandria clerk of court, but the court now has docketed the separate defamation case against Grace Episcopal. A nice touch, it seems: Michael Guy is preaching about becoming the beloved community, and addressing injustice wherever it is found. Yet at the exact same time the parish is trying to defend perjuring priest Bob Malm’s misconduct, Kelly Gable’s defamation, and Sugarland Chiow’s ugly behavior.

On an unrelated note, it is amusing to see that candidates for the rector position have been surfing my blog. How can I tell? By the originating IP addresses, and the content accessed. That’s a good thing, because any priest applying for the position needs to understand that Grace is a toxic church that has caca for brains when it comes to money, that urges people to commit suicide, bullies the dying, commits perjury, calls other Christians “domestic terrorists,” invents BS like the non-existent town of “Sugarland Texas” for use in its courtroom pleadings, and forces people like Mike out of the church.

If that’s your idea of the beloved community, no thanks. You can keep it.

Thursday, September 3, 2020

Complaint Filed Against Church Pension Group for Insuring Perjuring Priest Bob Malm’s Illegal Conduct

One of the basic tenets of insurance is that it will not cover illegal, intentional acts, or otherwise act contrary to public policy.

That’s an area of the law that often is murky, for there exist numerous exceptions, but the fact remains that it is illegal for insurers to protect against deliberate illegal activity. With that in mind, I today began formal proceedings against the Church Pension Group (CPG) the parent entity behind Grace Episcopal’s insurance policy.

To be clear, exceptions are myriad. For example, your automobile insurance coverage does not cover illegal acts, but if you injure or kill someone while DUI, it will pay. Why? Because while DUI is illegal, you didn’t intend to kill anyone. (That said, you will either be dropped at renewal, or your rates will go through the roof.)

Similarly, if you get in a fistfight and cause property damage, your insurance is likely to pay for the damage, because you didn’t intend the property damage, and because it would be manifestly unjust to the victim to deny coverage.

Yet the fact remains: Insurance does not cover deliberate acts, like vandalism. Nor does it cover punitive damages, since those are the result of conduct that a court found to be outrageous.

In the instant case, Bob Malm committed perjury, and did so multiple times. Among his fabrications, made under oath, was that Mom or someone claiming to be her contacted him repeatedly to set up appointments, only to no-show. He also claimed that only his wife had blogged about our conflict, despite knowing that his daughter Lindsey had done so. He falsely claimed under oath that all of his statements were true. And he engaged in defamation per se, claiming that I had embezzled money from a previous employer, while lying to the bishop regarding the timeline of my departure from the organization.

Of particular concern is Bob’s perjury, which by definition is deliberate. Yet CPG continues to provide insurance coverage and litigation support on these claims, in what I submit is a violation of state law and public policy.

I have therefore filed a formal action against CPG with the commonwealth, and have notified CPG’s CEO, Mary Kate Wold; its Chief Legal Officer, Nancy Sanborn; and the examiner handling Grace’s claims, Heather Crockett; that I intend to pursue the matter.

Simply put, CPG cannot turn a blind eye to perjuring priest Bob Malm’s illegal behavior, when it can readily verify that Bob lied under oath. Indeed, all it has to do is ask for evidence to support perjuring priest Bob Malm’s claim that Mom or someone purporting to be her contacted him repeatedly to set up appointments. That simply didn’t happen. It is a lie, pure and simple.

Here is the email I sent.

Monday, August 31, 2020

Susan Goff Continues Church Closures, While Refusing to Enforce Church Canons

Reports from Mayo House indicate that an increasing number of Episcopalians are leaving the diocese for other denominations, and leaving the Christian faith altogether, over the continuing closure of churches in the diocese. Despite this, bishop Goff holds firm in her refusal to open the churches of the diocese. That in turn begs the question: Why is Goff so principled when it comes to health issues, yet so unprincipled when it comes to protecting and covering up Bob Malm’s perjury and other misconduct?

For the record, I support the decision to keep churches closed. The diocese, like all other members of the so-called “seven sisters” of the mainstream denominations, has a disproportionate number of older members when compared to the population at large. Thus, churches are particularly at risk for severe presentations of COVID-19. This is compounded by the fact that churches are considered super-spreaders due to the singing, physical contact, poor air circulation, and shared communion vessels. But the result is costly to the church, with more and more clergy reporting criticism  from church members about the fact that holy communion has not been available since March.

Needless to say, I adamantly oppose Susan Goff’s coverup of Bob Malm’s perjury, Malm’s efforts to drag a dying woman into court, his multiple lies, his deliberate misuse of memorial funds, and more. In that situation, the church intake officer has said that the diocese “can’t get involved” in civil litigation. That’s interesting, because by Goff’s own admission, her decision to close the churches is at best a stretch of her canonical authority. Yet despite the express canonical proscription of conduct involving deceit and misrepresentation, set forth in Title IV, Goff remains unwilling to enforce canon law.

I suspect the key to sorting out this situation exists in the fact that Goff herself is at high risk during the pandemic due to age and chemotherapy. Indeed, one suspects that if her personal wellbeing were not implicated, Goff likely would prove far less principled. 

Her role as an enabler also comes into play, for in recent clergy conference calls, Goff urges clergy to take vacation and Sabbath, saying that God rejoices in our relaxation.

I hate to break it Goff, but the average clergy person in the diocese is hardly in need of rest and relaxation. While many essential workers put on the PPE every day and trudge off to work, where they face an increasing number of hostile and aggressive individuals, your average priest in the diocese is “working” from home. Yes, they may call to check in on parishioners, and they may send and receive more email than usual, but the reality is that the endless parish meetings are now largely cancelled or virtual. Hospital visits are constrained, funerals are largely on hold, and weddings are at best abbreviated. In short, clergy are pretty much in a holding pattern, with many of their normal duties impossible for the time being. They are not being overworked. Yet they will in many cases be the last person left standing as church budgets continue their precipitous decline, thanks to the church’s runaway clericalism.

The result is a diocese that increasingly appears to be a narcissistic organization. Dedicated to its own comfort and convenience, the diocese loudly proclaims its commitment to the gospels, all while avoiding any sort of accountability. And its perception of itself is as a leader in racial reconciliation and healing, all while promoting civil discourse and a more just society. Yet in the same breath, the diocese expressly supports clergy perjury and other outrageous behavior of the worst sort.  Simply put, Goff and her minions see themselves in a light utterly inconsistent with reality, even as the diocese increasingly lurches towards collapse.

Truly, a sad end for The Episcopal Church.

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Disentangling From the Past: Why It Will be Difficult for Grace Church to Move On

Change is hard for most people. It’s even harder for most churches, where people often are wedded to the status quo. And it will be especially hard for Grace Episcopal, the clergy perjury parish, as the church tries to put Bob Malm in the rear view mirror.

There are numerous reasons for this, not the least of which is perjuring priest Bob Malm’s long tenure.

First, an observation, which is that over time churches adopt the characteristics of their senior clergy. In Grace Church’s case, the place is superficially welcoming and friendly. But there’s little substance to this, and it’s not the result of a lively faith. Instead, it’s an attribute of the church’s role as a religion club, in which the primary focus is social activity.

Second is a related observation, which is that faith at Grace Church is only liturgy deep. Yes, liturgy is important, and it can provide a window into a deeper faith. But just as perjuring priest Bob Malm can say Mass every Sunday yet have no issue with lying in court, so too there is no compunction in the parish against bullying, mobbing, and even urging others to commit suicide. Thus, it will be very difficult to find a rector who has a deep and abiding faith, yet is interested in becoming part of a church in which faith has such a limited role. Of course, that’s not to say that there are not persons of faith in the parish, but many who actually adhere to the Christian faith packed it in long ago, once they realized how little substance there is to Grace Church and how bad the conduct within it can be.

Third, persons at Grace are largely blind to the troubled relationship between the parish and perjuring priest Bob Malm. Whether it’s Bob’s tampering with the internal workings of the vestry, his refusal to do parts of his job that he did not enjoy, or his efforts to force others out of the parish, folks are distracted by Bob’s seemingly friendly behavior. 

Fourth, persons have a vested psychological interest in not seeing the truth, for doing so is to admit that much of what parishioners held dear over the past 30 years was a fraud. That’s not to say that a priest must be sinless to serve a church; obviously, that is not possible. But when, as here, a priest engages in illegal and unethical conduct and there is zero accountability, it calls into question the very nature of The Episcopal Church. In other words, why bother with a bishop or diocese if they are going to take a pass on clergy misconduct that does not involve sex? 

Fifth, the parish faces the same dilemma as do many Catholic churches: Having named part of the building after an abusive priest, the parish is now wedded to the notion that perjuring priest Bob Malm deserves to be honored in this way. Reversing course will be all but impossible, and the church remains saddled with the fact it is honoring abusive conduct. And no, the whole “we’re recognizing the positive sides of Bob’s ministry” routine doesn’t cut it. Given the outrageous nature of perjuring priest Bob Malm’s misconduct, naming part of the building after him is just as inappropriate as would be naming the chancel after Robert E. Lee. Maybe even more so—Lee at least was a devoted Christian, which is more than can be said for Bob.

Sixth, as is often the case with clergy who engage in misconduct, those who have chosen to stay despite perjuring priest Bob Malm’s misconduct are a mishmash of attributes, ranging from the passive-aggressive, to enablers, to bullies, to sycophants, to the mentally ill, to those who just want to avoid making waves. In short, the current composition of the parish is such that there are few with the insight, skills, and courage to help effectuate change.

Seventh, the pandemic will remain a major risk for a long time to come, with the result that we are months, if not years, away from returning to congregational singing, the Easter Vigil, and the other things that feel like church for most parishioners. And given that a great many are simply there for a social outlet, Zoom simply isn’t going to cut it.

In short, the odds are strongly stacked against Grace Church overcoming the problems it faces. A far more likely outcome is to effect a few superficial repairs to the mess that is Grace Church, while driving the toxic toxic behavior that characterizes the parish underground, from where it will again emerge, stronger than ever.

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Grace Episcopal Alexandria: Legal Update

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

It’s never a dull day when it comes to my lawsuits against Grace Church, perjuring priest Bob Malm, and members of Bob’s family.

Earlier today, the Alexandria Circuit court notified the parties that it has rescheduled motions court to September 9 in my lawsuit against Leslie Malm for defamation.

Meanwhile, as I await a response to my motion for reconsideration in the lawsuit in the Pennsylvania courts, which seeks to recover Mom’s legal fees, I have filed an appeal to the Venango County Court of Common Pleas. My notice of appeal is below. Once it has been served on the magistrate and perjuring priest Bob Malm, Pennsylvania rules require the filing of a complaint within 20 days.

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

Thursday, August 20, 2020

More on Organizational Narcissism and Grace Episcopal Alexandria

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

In previous posts, I’ve written about my belief that Grace Episcopal Alexandria is a toxic family system that suffers from organizational narcissism.

But what is the connection between narcissistic clergy and narcissistic churches? How does one lead to another?

Experts agree that narcissistic clergy typically lead to narcissistic churches. That’s because narcissistic clergy instinctively build organizations that ultimately serve to protect them, while providing unwavering supplies of adulation and support. Per author and church consultant Peter Steiner, this implicates a variety of behaviors on the part of the narcissist, including:
  • Rage if he experiences shame, for shame exposes his true self.
  • An inordinate need for praise in order to feel important.
  • The feeling of entitlement to special treatment.
  • The immense need for continual feedback of how important she is.
  • The feeling of superiority and its reinforcement from others.
  • Strong reaction to rejection and disapproval, sometimes with intense rage.
  • The lack of the capacity to mourn, a defense against depression.
  • Calculating and conniving behavior to “maintain” supplies of continuous adulation.
  • An impaired capacity for commitment.
  • No capacity for self-focus or self-examination.
To this list, I’d add an 11th factor, which is a loose connection with reality, and an ability to make up “facts” on the fly, as needed.

Not surprisingly, when a church integrates these behaviors into its family systems, it eventually ceases to be a church. As pastor Tony Foglio writes, “A narcissistic church is not a church at all; it is a religious club. Maybe a clear answer for both the narcissist and the narcissistic church is a renewed commitment to Jesus’ great commandment: “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:36-40)”

Does any of this sound familiar?

If it does, the following from may be useful:

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Check it Out: Perjuring Priest Petition Has More Signers Than Diocese Has Sunday Worshippers

It’s official: My petition now has more signers than the diocese has in Average Sunday Attendance, or ASA, pre-COVID.

ASA is drawn from official church statistics as published by the national church for 2018. Data for 2019 should be released on or about September 12 and will show further declines for The Episcopal Church.

No surprise there when the denomination is okay with clergy perjury so long as there are no criminal charges.


Grace Episcopal Alexandria


Grace Episcopal Alexandria

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

What Kind of Priest Will Grace Get?

The wife of a prominent local clergyperson, and friend of mine, once shared with me some wisdom derived from almost 50 years of serving different churches. Her comment: “There are two types of clergy: Ones who want to serve you, and ones who want you to serve them.”

Perjuring priest Bob Malm clearly was the latter. To my knowledge, Bob never once turned up at the food pantry, helped at the homeless shelter, or led by example at the hypothermia shelter. 

It was this approach that I believe led perjuring priest Bob Malm to some of his uglier decisions, like his pushing for a costly personal residence. Or his perjury. Or his decision to try to force people out of the parish. 

It’s also this approach that led to Grace’s decline, for people do not want to subsidize the cushy lifestyle of a feckless priest like Bob Malm. Folks work plenty hard trying to make it in Northern VA without supporting perjuring priest Bob Malm’s month at the beach every summer—particularly when Bob won’t do even basic aspects of his job, like ensuring accurate financial reports, or supervising staff.

That begs the question: What would it be like to have a priest who was actually engaged? Who led by example? Who was honest and trustworthy? Who was a person of faith, versus profession?

Only Grace can answer that question.

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Transition Process Proves Neither Grace Church Nor the Diocese Get It

Grace Episcopal Alexandria

While it’s hardly news to many, the reality is that neither Grace Episcopal, the clergy perjury parish, nor the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, understand the depth or breadth of the problems at the church. Confirmation of this paradigm can be seen in the current approach to clergy transition, which is fundamentally flawed.

Specifically, in its transition process the church is pursuing a rector, while disregarding a better approach, which is for a priest in charge (PIC).

So what is a priest in charge, and why should Grace consider one?

A priest in charge is a priest retained on contract, typically for a three-year period. As such, she has tenure only during the contractual period, unlike a rector, who is (at least on paper) there for keeps.

Typically, a PIC is chosen when there’s been a long stay by the prior incumbent. Other reasons include:
  • A prior ministry ended in conflict
  • When misconduct has occurred
  • When there is a need for strategic planning
  • When there is a need to clarify mission
  • When there is a need to build financial capacity
  • Other issues as determined by the parish and the diocese.
In such cases, a consultant is retained and helps the PIC enter into a period of prayer, listening, healing, planning, pastoral care, and more.

In Grace’s case, it’s clear to any rational actor that things are a hot mess. Indeed, every one of the criteria above apply.  But the diocese takes the approach of “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil,” as it tries to cover up perjuring priest Bob Malm’s misconduct, and by extension that of Kelly Gable, Sugarland Chiow, and others. The parish, on the other hand, has lost perspective due to its narcissistic organizational characteristics.Thus, neither has any clue what it’s doing, nor do they have any interest in the feedback of others.

The problem of course is that ignoring these issues doesn’t make them go away. Indeed, it’s a basic principle of change management that conflict ignored is conflict multiplied. Perjuring priest Bob Malm spent 30 years not only ignoring conflict, but in many cases fomenting it with his childish games, petty maneuvering and self-serving conduct. (Just look at the financial disaster of perjuring priest Bob Malm’s $1.2 million personal residence if you need an example. Truly cringeworthy.) Additionally, he pointed attention within Grace at himself, not God. As a result, Grace is not only toxic, but its values are profoundly skewed.

There’s ample evidence of these effects of these issues. These include:
  • Plummeting attendance
  • Sharply declining number of pledging units
  • Repeated situations in which people have left the parish due to conflict
Indeed, these factors alone should be cause for profound concern.

Yet in almost every case members of the parish either ignore these factors, blame them on others, lie and deny that the issues exist, or shoot the messenger. Yet at its most basic this is a church in which it’s okay to drag a dying woman into court, for the rector to commit perjury, and for college-aged parishioners to urge others to commit suicide. Indeed, one has only to read perjuring priest Bob Malm’s venomous, lying emails, or Sugarland Chiow’s inflammatory rhetoric, to realize just how bad things are at Grace. But parishioners simply don’t want to go there. Or, as Robin Hammeal-Urban puts it, “If it can’t be conceived it can’t be perceived.”

It’s also important to keep in mind that contrary to Lisa Medley and other lying nitwits in the parish, I am far from the only person who’s run into these issues:
  • One former church employee described the place as having an “evil spirit.” 
  • Another college student abruptly walked out and transferred to St. Peter’s in the Woods after a bad experience in the choir. 
  • Numerous persons in the altar guild have come to tears over behavior there. Anne Caputo and others are aware of the bullying that goes on there.
  • John Cunningham left over misconduct. 
  • Mike, my husband, was forced out by perjuring priest Bob Malm just 16 months after being received into the denomination.
  • Kyle Babin experienced bullying and hateful conduct, both by staff and by parishioners.
  • Outside Episcopal clergy, who have tactfully described the parish as having “a lot of work to do.”
To his credit, Michael Guy has been willing to bring these issues up, albeit in general terms. But it takes more than a few sermons and articles in Grace Notes to undo 30 years of perjuring priest Bob Malm. Moreover, the diocese’s efforts to ignore Bob’s antics by saying it will only get involved if criminal charges are filed have done a profound disservice to the church, for it has forced our conflict into the courts, most notably those of popular opinion and the Alexandria Circuit Court. In that regard, it likely will be another 2-3 years before the lawsuits wind their way through the courts. And I will continue to share the truth of my experiences with Bob Malm ad infinitum. Thus, things will not be getting better any time soon, and parishioners and diocesan staff alike are just plain dumb if they think I am going to back down when someone goes after my mother and Mike.

Both the church and the diocese are profoundly foolish not to get a PIC, then map out a plan towards healing and wholeness. Without those steps, the parish will remain rudderless, adrift, declining, and clueless about the path to a better future. Moreover, it will continue with the same conflict, ugly rhetoric, and un-Christian conduct that led to its precipitous decline in the first place. In short, the parish is at an inflection point, and it can make the decision to move towards health and wholeness, or it can make the decision to slide ever further into existential crisis.

For more information on the role of a priest-in-charge, visit the Diocese of Connecticut website. There is also a good document in PDF on the Diocese of Newark’s site.

An excellent example of the work of a priest-in-charge can be found here.

Perjuring Priest Bob Malm Preaches on the Subject of Reconciliation

Grace Episcopal Alexandria
Although most churches are experiencing dwindling attendance at their streamed services, it’s worth tuning into perjuring priest Bob Malm’s sermon from this Sunday, hosted on Vimeo. Why? Because his hypocrisy is hilarious, as he gasses on about forgiveness and reconciliation.

Highlights of perjuring priest Bob Malm’s laughable sermon are when he talks about the importance of listening before you speak, and how our parents taught us this. Having seen firsthand multiple instances of Bob’s narcissistic rages, which in one case occurred without anything being said by the the other party, that’s pretty rich.

Then there’s his bit drawn from the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus tells us that if our sibling has something against us, we are to first to be reconciled to her, then to offer our gift at the altar. Coming from someone who refused my written settlement offer from 2016, which asked only that he leave us alone, that’s laughable. Of course, we’re now five years into our conflict, and still going at it, hammer and tongs.

Also of note is perjuring priest Bob Malm’s bit about respecting the other person. Somehow, I don’t think that includes bearing false witness, including falsely claiming that my mother or someone claiming to be her contacted him repeatedly to set up appointments, only to no-show. Nor does it include trying to drag a dying woman, incontinent, dependent on oxygen, and receiving palliative care, into court.

In short, to understand perjuring priest Bob Malm’s ministry one has to look at is his actions, not his words. When we do look at his actions, we see the reality, which is that beneath the fine words there is zero substance.

BTW, a far better sermon, more germane to the mess that is Grace Episcopal, the clergy perjury parish, is Michael Guy’s, in which he talks about Jesus’ admonition that it is what we say that defiles us, for it comes from the heart. This is the sort of reminder that folks at Grace need, which is the way they talk to and about each other is wrong. Find Michael’s sermon here.