Showing posts with label #fakechristians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #fakechristians. Show all posts

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Repost: See for Yourself: Perjuring Priest Bob Malm’s Original Request for a Protective Order Shows the Real Grace Church

This one is great. In it, we see perjuring priest Bob’s facially inadequate claims of threats,  which have, thus far, enjoyed Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow’s professional support. In addition, more of perjuring priest Bob Malm’s intimations of mental illness (including multiple personalities, a disorder closely associated with severe abuse), as well as his facially irrelevant letter from the bishop and his references to blogging. Note too that perjuring priest Bob Malm lies in his chronology about the meeting in Fredericksburg; at no time was there any discussion about “following the bishop’s guidance.” To the contrary, perjuring priest Bob Malm agreed to stop his bullying. It’s also noteworthy that perjuring priest Bob Malm lied in front of the bishop, falsely stating, “Having resigned from the vestry, you were no longer eligible to serve as a trustee.” To which I replied, “Why then, are none of your current trustees vestry members?” Perjuring priest Bob Malm had no response to that.

Check it out.

Meanwhile, as interim pastor Michael Guy talks about preaching the Gospel, this is how Grace Church preaches the gospel in real life. As in, “by their fruits you shall know them.”

Pastor Guy, welcome to Grace Episcopal, the clergy perjury parish.

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

“If It’s Inconceivable, It’s Unperceivable”

Someone recently asked me if folks like David Crosby will ever recognize that Bob Malm committed perjury and otherwise abused his office. The answer to that question is no.

As Robin Hammeal-Urban says in her book on clergy misconduct, there’s an old saying among church judicatories, “If it’s inconceivable, it’s unperceivable.”

That means that this who cannot accept the notion that Bob Malm is a perjurer and bully will simply never be able to accept the fact that he is, no matter how clear the evidence. David’s faith has its roots in his friendship with Bob, and it’s simply not possible for him to admit to himself that Bob is a fake, a fraud.

As Robin notes, that are others who will vacillate between believing that Bob engaged in misconduct, and believing such conduct to be impossible on his part.

Her conclusion:
It is essential that congregations find ways to embrace all members regardless of differences in their experiences of misconduct. To help a faith community come to terms with congregational misconduct, members need accurate, timely information about the transgression(s) and opportunities to process that information as a community.
Of course, we all know that won’t happen. 

Susan Goff, the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, and parish leaders are all committed to a policy of denial and evasion. No evidence to the contrary will ever be sufficient to engender a meaningful response from these so-called leaders.

As a result, I now fully believe that the parish and the diocese ultimately will collapse from their own internal rot and ethical decay,

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Reflections on Friendly Versus Faithful

One of the things I learned from my experiences with perjuring priest Bob Malm and toxic Grace Episcopal church is that many people conflate friendly with faithful. As in, “Bob’s a good guy,” or “you’ll be welcomed with open arms.” Yes, Bob Malm is an ostensibly friendly guy. Yes, Grace Episcopal is a seemingly friendly church. But right behind both exist layers of toxic behavior that are contrary to the real meaning of Christianity.

It’s interesting: From friendly, people attribute ethical qualities. As one chucklehead at Christ Church said, “Why would you say that about a good man like Bob Malm?” referring to my assertion that Bob Malm committed perjury. Yet it doesn’t take much interaction at all to discover that Bob is a man who lies under oath, tries to drag the dying into court, deliberately misuses funds, directs church staff to exclude others, and goes after innocent family members in pursuit of his vendettas. In short, he is the antithesis of what one should expect of a priest.

My advice to anyone sizing up a new church or a new clergyperson: Take your time. Watch their actions. Ignore the flattery, smiles, hugs, and other window dressing.

I’d also point out that Bob’s comments about others are inappropriate for clergy, or anyone for that matter. Referring to Jan Spence as an “asshole,” or Lisa Doelp as “like a little spy,” is wrong. Nor do I believe his comments about Lisa. Nor do these sorts of comments build up others.

Similarly, folks can talk all they want about what a friendly church Grace is. but that doesn’t justify things like the bullying, gossip, and other inappropriate conduct that come from office staff, the choir, and the altar guild. Nor is there ever any excuse for urging people to commit suicide, Alison Campbell’s fun and games, or Lisa Medley’s toxic behavior. The fact that Bob Malm turns a blind eye to this sort of conduct and allows folks like this to serve in leadership positions reveals just how thoroughly broken Grace Church is. Grace, like many spiritually abusive churches, is like a yew, with pretty red berries. Yes, they are beautiful on the surface, but if you partake of them, you will find that they are toxic.

These issues extend to the diocese itself, where there is zero concept of accountability and no clergy discipline, unless the alleged misconduct involves sex. It is sad that The Episcopal Church is locked into a Madmen-era notion of misconduct in which only sex counts.

Lastly, to young people who turn their back on organized religion due to issues like this, I say this: You are spot on. Any church or denomination in which this sort of thing is okay is not one you should support. You won’t find Jesus or God in the midst of these modern-day Scribes and Pharisees.

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Just in Case You Had any Doubt About This Being a Personal Vendetta for Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow and Dysfunctional Bob....

Well, apparently being handed a complete, hands-down victory by virtue of my dropping my appeal isn’t enough for Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow and Dysfunctional Bob. In an “Emergency Objection and Request for Hearing,” filed today with the Alexandria Circuit Court, Chiow displays his usual animosity as he spouts off his normal array of ad hominem attacks, misleading arguments, deliberate mischaracterizations, and inflammatory rhetoric. You’ll also see that he continues to lobby for restrictions on my right to blog—a concept that I trust, having gone to law school, Jeff knows would be an unconstitutional prior restraint of free speech. But then again, he either may not know that, or care. And of course you get some very interesting assertions, including the suggestion from Jeff that my attorney said that I was at the national Cathedral at some point. That is a red herring if there ever was one. But then, given Jeff’s track record of questionable veracity and that of his client — an Episcopal priest — no surprise there.

In fact, no doubt Jeff will produce documentation of the “countless” times family members cancelled appointments with Bob. That should be interesting. Or ‘fess up and admit that his client instructed church staff to exclude us from the church. And maybe he’d be good enough to explain why Bob chose to include Mike in his vendetta. And I’d be all ears to hear his explanation as to how Bob Malm didn’t lie during our meeting with bishop Shannon. Moreover, I’d be really interested to see backup on Jeff’s written claim to have provided roughly $100,000 in legal services to date. Who knew such sloppy legal work was worth so much?

Exploring further, we see more logical fallacies on Jeff’s part, including the notion that the fact he intended to ask specific questions during discovery has some sort of probative value. Sorry, Jeff, no evidential value there, unless it is that you and your client are pursuing a personal vendetta. No news there, either.

Speaking of, Jeff also conveniently omits his various dilatory tactics that have repeatedly delayed the case, including his refusal to point out which specific blog quotes he believes to be threatening. Note that he still has not honored that request despite the court’s order to do so.

The one thing that is very clear from all of this is that the level of venom and animosity is consistent with what one person close to the matter referred to as a “personal vendetta” on Jeff’s part towards me. In short, there is absolutely nothing Christian in any of this. Nor should we forget that, by extension, Jeff is calling my mother, who is dying, a liar. Nice.

Oh, and BTW, one can readily look up the fact that I practiced law. But, in typical sloppy fashion, Jeff never bothered to do that. Maybe he figured I was admitted in his favorite city—the fictional one located in Sugarland Texas. Nor did Bob Malm perform any civil ceremony for me. Again, either this is a case of dishonesty, or it’s a case of profoundly sloppy legal work. 

And if you’re looking for a law firm, just remember: Jeff’s legal documents reference fictional places and events. Like a fictional church shooting in the equally fictional town of Sugarland Texas. 

If you‘re looking for a church home, know upfront: This is the sort of thing that goes on behind the scenes at St. Dysfunction Episcopal Church aka Grace Episcopal Church. Yes, the services are pretty, and the building quaint, but scratch the surface and this is what you get. And this is the sort of thing your pledge supports.


Saturday, August 25, 2018

How (Real) Christians Respond in Times of Trouble

There’s been a very troubling story in the news over the past several months, and that has been the repeated vandalism at Bethlehem Lutheran Church in Annandale. A welcoming, inclusive, small but vibrant congregation, the church has been vandalized seven times over the past few months. Most recently, someone destroyed many of the pew cushions in the church, which are affixed to the pews and thus difficult to replace or repair. Additionally, on one occasion a young volunteer allegedly was assaulted by the intruder. See for details.

Before we go further, Bob Malm might well consider folks at this church to be a threat. Given that he claims protesting is somehow a threat to him, the church’s recent outdoor protests, objecting to vandalism at the Jewish Community Center and nearby UCC church, no doubt caused Bob Malm tremendous alarm; see the photos below of the church’s efforts.

But to fully see how Bethlehem Lutheran really is Christian, versus the #fakechristian nonsense that comes from Bob Malm, see what the church’s interim pastor said about the recent vandalism and the person behind it:

That’s a far cry from Bob Malm’s efforts to obtain a restraining order based on his paranoid assumptions/conclusions based on a few words in someone’s blog. 

Of course, that is not to say that I condone vandalism. Indeed, I abhor violence of every sort, including the emotional and relational violence, and shunning, that is part and parcel of Bob Malm’s “ministry” at Grace Episcopal Church. 

And like members of Bethlehem Lutheran church, I am prepared to call out Bob Malm, Jeff Chiow, and all who seek to oppress, intimidate, and harm others. The First Amendment still guarantees the right to peaceful protest, even under Donald Trump and Bob Malm.

Thursday, August 23, 2018

Breaking News: Settlement Offer Received, Total Waste of Time

We have some late-breaking developments from St. Dysfunction. Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow, Dysfunctional Bob’s attorney, sent over a proposed settlement agreement yesterday — a complete waste of time for both sides.

At this juncture, I don’t feel it’s appropriate to share specifics, but there’s one really notable thing about the proposal, which is that there is nothing in it that even remotely suggests that the other party is a church, let alone that the individuals involved claim to be Christians. All it is is a relatively badly drafted quasi-commercial release and satisfaction, and ludicrously one-sided at that. Additionally, nothing in the proposal would stop Dysfunctional Bob from his usual behind-the-scenes manipulation and innuendo aka “Is that healthy?” (Think a really narcissistic group of sorority sisters, and you’d have a good idea of Bob’s antics. Petty plots, power plays, who’s popular, who’s not. And heaven help you if you offend the girls in the “in crowd”—you won’t get invited to the next Tri Delt rush party. Horrors!)

Then there’s the perennial issue of Defamation Per Se Leslie Malm, and her claims that I am a stalker. Obviously, as an adult, she is responsible for her own actions, and since I do not view women as chattel, I don’t expect that Bob can or should control her actions. That said, nothing in the agreement would address those issues, and I am following up on those matters separately.

That said, you have to hand it to Dysfunctional Bob: He has probably managed a first in American jurisprudence, which is making a settlement offer in a protective order case. In all my years of practicing law, I never ran into such a scenario, as these cases are among the most binary out there. Someone either hurt you, or threatened you, or they didn’t. Easy-cheesy, and damned straightforward.

That, of course, speaks to whether Bob really feels threatened, and the answer is that it’s facially obvious he doesn’t. This whole situation is about his need for power and control, and his lack of a Christian worldview. And it’s telling, too — nowhere in this do you see any concern on Bob’s part for the reputational harm he’s causing to the church. Nor is my stopping blogging the answer; people may find Bob engaging, but at the end of the day they’re not stupid, and they know the difference between bullying and Christian behavior. Thus, they have a pretty good handle on Bob and his motives at this point, and it must be damned disheartening to realize that, in Bob’s case, it’s all a sham.

Of course, as one person close to the matter said to me, “We both know Bob’s not a real priest.” And to that I say, “Truer words were never spoken.” And it has nothing to do with Catholic, or Episcopal, or Orthodox, or high church versus low church or broad church. It has to do with Bob’s worldview, which is that his is a job, nothing more. Thus, one should not expect much from someone who’s basically a superannuated frat boy.

So, things continue to go forward, just in time for the fall pledge drive.

Fun times on Sorority Row.

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Court Blocks Attempt by Bob Malm and Jeff Chiow to Bully Dying Woman

The Venango County Court of Common Pleas, located in Franklin PA, today blocked a subpoena from Episcopal priest Bob Malm that would have required my mother, dying of COPD, to be deposed. The order further prohibits any future efforts to have Mom appear in person as part of discovery in this case, citing threats to her health.

The decision underscores the seemingly thin ethics behind Bob Malm’s conduct in this case, as well as that of his attorney and former member of the church vestry, Jeff Chiow.

As Mom’s attorney notes in his pleading, Pennsylvania, which normally decides such issues in cases involving subpoenas from other states, bars discovery in cases of this sort under state rules of civil procedure. 

Meanwhile, it should be noted that Virginia’s Episcopal bishops are well aware of Bob’s abusive conduct and continue to condone his actions.

Res ipsa loquitor 

Friday, July 27, 2018

Empty Triumphalism at Grace Church

Have you seen the seriously funny video of Bob Malm at the joint Arlandria event with the Methodist church? The event was held to support immigration rights, and true to form, Bob winds up saying a lot more about St. Dysfunction Grace Church than he realizes.

Dressed in a black cape, Bob obviously hasn’t prepared at all for the event. Instead, he thinks that by sounding hyper-confident he can wing it, so he winds up moving his hands in circles, saying something to the effect of, “That’s what’s so amazing about Grace Church. We care about everyone!”

Leaving aside the fact that my mom, Mike, and I would not agree with that assertion, I have the unfortunate task of breaking some bad news to Bob: Caring about people is not amazing. It’s supposed to be foundational for Christians.

Of course, when you peel the onion, what you find is that Bob talks a good game, but the reality is far different. This is a priest who’s never, to my knowledge, gone on a mission to Haiti. Whose response when questioned about people who have left the church due to conflict with him is, “Why should I give a fu**?” Who for years has demonstrated utter indifference to the temporal wellbeing of the parish. Who is both a bully himself, and who tolerates and encourages bullying by his example. Who engages in shunning, which has been described by experts as “psychological murder.”

Nor is this the only time Bob has trotted out the empty triumphalism. In a sermon he preached not that long ago, Bob gasses on about how Grace church represents, “true religion.”

As Presiding Bishop Michael Curry has said many times, “If it’s not about love, it’s not about God.”

If Grace Church reflects Bob Malm’s view of “true religion,” then you need to look for God elsewhere. You won’t find her at Grace Church.

Comment from Fairfax Underground

Just saw the following posting, clearly from someone connected with Grace Church.

Why do I get the feeling that Bob Malm’s daughter Lindsey is the poster?

This  sort of invective further proves my point: If you’re looking for Christianity, you won’t find it with Bob Malm or St. Dysfunction Episcopal Church, aka Grace Church.

Update: Depositions Set for Late August

It’s fair to say that Bob Malm’s vendetta — and his waste of time, money, and other church resources — continues unabated at a time when St. Dysfunction Grace Episcopal Church is stretched perilously thin, financially and in every other way.

My attorney will be taking Bob Malm’s deposition on Thursday, August 30, as we seek to move past Bob’s disingenuous efforts at avoiding a full accounting for his actions. That’s telling: Shouldn’t clergy model transparency and accountability? But that has never been Bob’s modus operandi. 

Instead, Bob’s approach is all about appearances, and getting what he can for himself. And if you write about Bob’s antics, he’ll carry on about “attacks on the Internet,” never once considering that, if he were actually doing his job, there just wouldn’t be anything to write about. Moreover, he’s lost sight of one important truth in all of this: Even if he prevails with his protective order, which was obtained based on his various distortions and misrepresentations, I certainly will not stop writing.

Moreover, both Bob and his attorney, Jeff Chiow, deliberately overlook a key point, which is that courts have held that bloggers are considered jounalists for purposes of the First Amendment. Someone can write about their experiences as much as they want, and it simply is not “harassment,” as falsely claimed by Jeff Chiow. Harassment only comes into play when there is direct communication between the parties — as in Leslie Malm’s repeated efforts to communicate with me via email, even after I told Jeff I wanted no further contact from Bob or any member of his family.

Bob will be taking my deposition the following day, Friday, August 31. Look for additional detail on these issues at the appropriate time.

Meanwhile, I invite parishioners to ask how the time and money Bob and Jeff have spent on trying to bully me and Mike compare with the time and money they have spent on Carpenter’s Shelter, or Bob’s (non-existent) trips to Haiti, or the food pantry.

Bottom line, the more Bob and Jeff pursue this matter, the more they prove my point, which is that St. Dysfunction Grace Episcopal Church is both toxic, and seriously messed up in its priorities.