Showing posts with label #clueless. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #clueless. Show all posts

Thursday, August 23, 2018

Breaking News: Settlement Offer Received, Total Waste of Time

We have some late-breaking developments from St. Dysfunction. Jeff “Sugarland” Chiow, Dysfunctional Bob’s attorney, sent over a proposed settlement agreement yesterday — a complete waste of time for both sides.

At this juncture, I don’t feel it’s appropriate to share specifics, but there’s one really notable thing about the proposal, which is that there is nothing in it that even remotely suggests that the other party is a church, let alone that the individuals involved claim to be Christians. All it is is a relatively badly drafted quasi-commercial release and satisfaction, and ludicrously one-sided at that. Additionally, nothing in the proposal would stop Dysfunctional Bob from his usual behind-the-scenes manipulation and innuendo aka “Is that healthy?” (Think a really narcissistic group of sorority sisters, and you’d have a good idea of Bob’s antics. Petty plots, power plays, who’s popular, who’s not. And heaven help you if you offend the girls in the “in crowd”—you won’t get invited to the next Tri Delt rush party. Horrors!)

Then there’s the perennial issue of Defamation Per Se Leslie Malm, and her claims that I am a stalker. Obviously, as an adult, she is responsible for her own actions, and since I do not view women as chattel, I don’t expect that Bob can or should control her actions. That said, nothing in the agreement would address those issues, and I am following up on those matters separately.

That said, you have to hand it to Dysfunctional Bob: He has probably managed a first in American jurisprudence, which is making a settlement offer in a protective order case. In all my years of practicing law, I never ran into such a scenario, as these cases are among the most binary out there. Someone either hurt you, or threatened you, or they didn’t. Easy-cheesy, and damned straightforward.

That, of course, speaks to whether Bob really feels threatened, and the answer is that it’s facially obvious he doesn’t. This whole situation is about his need for power and control, and his lack of a Christian worldview. And it’s telling, too — nowhere in this do you see any concern on Bob’s part for the reputational harm he’s causing to the church. Nor is my stopping blogging the answer; people may find Bob engaging, but at the end of the day they’re not stupid, and they know the difference between bullying and Christian behavior. Thus, they have a pretty good handle on Bob and his motives at this point, and it must be damned disheartening to realize that, in Bob’s case, it’s all a sham.

Of course, as one person close to the matter said to me, “We both know Bob’s not a real priest.” And to that I say, “Truer words were never spoken.” And it has nothing to do with Catholic, or Episcopal, or Orthodox, or high church versus low church or broad church. It has to do with Bob’s worldview, which is that his is a job, nothing more. Thus, one should not expect much from someone who’s basically a superannuated frat boy.

So, things continue to go forward, just in time for the fall pledge drive.

Fun times on Sorority Row.

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Newsflash: Grace Church is #Clueless

In all of this, one of the amusing things is that neither Bob Malm, not Jeff Chiow, nor David Crosby,  nor the Grace Church vestry, nor church members, get it. That’s right, #clueless.

Newsflash: The problem you have is not negative reviews of your sad church. Nor will efforts to make negative reviews go away succeed. In fact, the more you attempt the latter, the worse you make things for yourself. For example, Bob Malm’s campaign of innuendo about “dysfunction” and “health” is now a laughing stock in some circles, and will be for a long time to come. The fact that, as a church, you buy into his silliness just adds to the amusement.

Newsflash #2: When people look at your conduct, they don’t see anything even remotely Christian, and it has nothing to do with my blogging.

Nor do the following work:
  1. Suggesting that I commit suicide.
  2. Contacting my employer and current church.
  3. Claiming that I am delusional, for there are plenty of original source materials on this blog, with many more to come, including Jeff Chiow’s inflammatory and abusive legal pleadings. 
  4. Arguing that there are two sides to every story. The conduct documented in this blog is wrong and un-Christian, no matter how you parse the issues.
  5. Lying about what has transpired.
  6. Threatening me or my family.
  7. Claiming you took Ambien, LOL. (For the record, no one’s tried that line yet, but doing so would be in keeping with Bob Malm’s usual antics.)
Newsflash #3: The reality is straightforward: The only way to have people regard your sad church as healthy is to be healthy. No shunning, no bullying, no parking lot conversations about former parishioners, no emails about your perceptions of the mental health of others, no threats, no innuendo, no lies claiming that I left on my own. When the day comes (unlikely as that is) that I and others who have criticized you can walk into Grace Church and be welcome, then you will be on the road to health. (For those of you who are still shaking your heads, Google “prodigal son.” Yeah, in the Bible.)

Until you change your behavior, Grace Church will continue its precipitous decline. People are not stupid, and they understand that sooner or later they too will experience your toxic behavior if they associate with you.